We live in a time when political correctness means freedom of speech and even thought, could annihilate one’s career. Your ideas and perspectives, have no rights. Matt Damon was publically called out and scorned for daring to suggest it was wrong to confabulate any and all loutish behavior . . . with sexual assault.
Personally, I think Damon’s comments were quite accurate. This does describe the culture that we live in. I’ve used the term “victimhood culture” — where your being victimized becomes the ultimate power-card to use in any, all, and every situation as excuse for not managing one’s feelings, emotions, psychological well-being.
But he dared to skate a little too close to a treasured trump-all power-card of those dosing high on outrage and victimhood.
His loudest detractor authored the rebuttal, “We are not outraged [because these little things] happened, but because we’ve been made to feel they were normal.”
This comes back to what I’ve said many times about the control of your feelings is entirely up to you. You cannot call upon others to do it for you. In just our recent past, we’ve “been made to feel” being physically punished by your parents was normal. Or that being called stupid in school was normal because you had an as-yet unidentified learning disability. Or thinking a mother abusing you in all 3 ways identified by Child Protection Services was “just normal”.
These things being “right” or “wrong” in hindsight is not the issue. The issue is your “outrage and injury” carried like baggage for years, perhaps decades. Running around striking out at everyone and everything that has “made your feelings” do something you didn’t want them to do has become like a drug fix.
To announce that you are offended, is to proclaim that you cannot (or will not) control your own emotions and are calling upon everyone else to do it for you.
It “makes you feel” good and powerful at the moment. But does nothing to heal any wounds. And in this day-and-age that would have to included wounds actual, imagined, and by proxy.
This isn’t about silencing those who have been victimized.
It’s about teaching them how to heal enough that their vitimhood button isn’t hair-triggered by someone simply sharing an observation or opinion. Whether that be astute, or loutish.
(There is no heavier burden than provocation by a lout or a fool).
© 2026 – SoulSequel
32 responses to ““. . . a culture of outrage and injury” — Matt Damon”
OK, you quoted a celebrity; so I will too. This is Alyssa Milano’s response to Matt Damon’s response on Sexual Misconduct:
Dear Matt Damon,
It’s the micro that makes the macro.
We are in a “culture of outrage” because the magnitude of rage is, in fact, overtly outrageous. And it is righteous.
I have been a victim of each component of the sexual assault spectrum of which you speak. They all hurt. And they are all connected to a patriarchy intertwined with normalized, accepted–even welcomed– misogyny.
We are not outraged because someone grabbed our asses in a picture. We are outraged because we were made to feel this was normal. We are outraged because we have been gaslighted. We are outraged because we were silenced for so long.
There are different stages of cancer. Some more treatable than others. But it’s still cancer.
Sexual harassment, misconduct, assault and violence is a systemic disease. The tumor is being cut out right now with no anesthesia. Please send flowers.
@Gina
I saw Alyssa’s response and thought it so silly I didn’t want to bring it up. “It’s the micro that makes the macro” is the kind of drivel that applies to anything and everything with equal ridiculousness. Eating a little can lead to making you fat. Giving a little can lead you to the poor house.
We need to guard against becoming too silly. The corrective lens of time can be applied to so many instances from the past — applying modern perspectives to past “normal” things that we can now become better victimized and enraged about — often to our own detriment.
Yes, all kinds of harassment and assault hurt. And whether the “rape” be sexual, physical or psychological, they are all sins against another. Where the silliness and hypocrisy comes, is in elevated one kind of “inflicting ourselves” upon another, over and above all others.
Further silliness is added by pretending that it’s always one gender “doing it” to the other.
While we’re so busy cutting the tumor out of others without anesthesia, we need to remain mindful to the cancerous growths that we harbor. Remember that throughout History women have been far from “helpless” and been able to deliver scathing assaults on others according to their own gifts and strengths.
Painting one sex as having all the problems when it comes to assault . . . is . . . unbalanced. Any right or voice that comes by denying it to others is no better than “the original oppression”. It’s actually worse — because the perpetrator knows EXACTLY what it feels like to be the receiver.
Feminist women in general need to climb down off their high-horse of saintly victimhood. Yes, wrongs have been done, and need to be righted. But not by more wrongs. Not by emotion-charged scorn. And not by emotional and psychological assaults on men and boys.
Equality HAS to mean equality — not privilege for one over the other. Otherwise we are only 1/2 solving a problem — or just fixing a historically marginalized group by creating another.
@griz This is all you need to read of Milano’s response: We are not outraged because someone grabbed our asses in a picture. We are outraged because we were made to feel this was normal. We are outraged because we have been gaslighted. We are outraged because we were silenced for so long.
WTF does this mean in this context?: “Equality HAS to mean equality — not privilege for one over the other. Otherwise we are only 1/2 solving a problem — or just fixing a historically marginalized group by creating another.” Asking you to not grab our asses or show us your dick without consent has nothing to do with privilege.
We are in a watershed moment. All this pain will help make us a better society. Sorry your feelings are so hurt, and sorry you don’t understand what is really going on.
We just want equality.
@Gina
And I certainly don’t begrudge you reaching for equality — and I will do all I can to assist in this regard. But I will not silently watch one form of sexist oppression replaces another. If this makes me “an enemy of equality” — well, that would mean the dictionary definition of equality is wrong! (But who bothers with the dictionary these days anyways?)
And I reserve concern for the outbreaks of it that are reaching more and more into vengeance, pay-back, sexism, vigilanteism, the rapid and almost desperate devaluing of any observation or opinion that doesn’t jive with an “empowering movement’s” party-line. If it’s a good and noble movement, it will not have any need or urge to employ such dastardly tactics — and will stand against their employment as an anathema to the nobility of its cause.
And I would close with pointing out that I feel it a mistaken perception to confabulate my having “eyes open” to what is blatantly there, with my having “feelings hurt”.
Forgiveness is what moves trespasses against us out of the blind reactions to “feelings hurt” and into “eyes open” recognition of the processes going on so we can respond to them in reasonable, rational and effective ways.
I think yoh are making some good points of this victimhood issue, but I also think that the challenge of thinking of this from a male perspective is part of the actual issue.
One of the big challenges for victims is to overcome the denial of it ever actually happening. It’s a defense mechanism that becomes ingrained and the only way out from behind the walls is a very conscious effort.
Maybe we need to consider all the inluential issues that criteribute to the overall, in an effort to try and figure out why we are hurting others for our own needs first and that might lead to an ability to shift an existing paradigm.
I like the fact that this has created a dialogue, because that’s where reparations begin.
@spitfire3dc
I understand that the male perspective has colored society for thousands of years. But equality cannot mean a radical swing to operating everything from just a female perspective (like our education system, nudge, wink) while devaluing the male perspective — and that is what is happening right now. Balance is the key.
Not vengeance; and not “doing unto others what has been done unto you”, in some twisted bid for “payback justice”.
I agree that the dialogue is essential. But right now the male side of that dialogue is being systemically and almost automatically devalued as a matter of course. In the example I used to start this threat, Matt Damon’s observations were not devoid of value, and not overly loutish.
But the response to them by outspoken feminists was, “kaboom”! There was such a zeal to quickly devalue and re-frame everything he offered with barely-serviceable platitudes and well . . . outrage!
(And if you think this was bad, check out how viciously women like Christina Hoff-Summers are attacked for DARING to champion a more balanced dialogue that acknowledges the male side of the equation!)
This is NOT dialogue. This is “Only we can be right”. It is “the oppressed become the oppressors”. I know abuse is a touchy issue. But the “hell hath no fury” scorn-factor will need to be dialed WAY back before respectful and meaningful dialogue can begin.
@griz I gotta start by saying that this issue seems to have put a burr under your saddle. You certainly have been consistent in voicing what comes across as passionate displeasure whenever anything remotely connected to the female side of the equation runs roughshod over the male. Your tone is decidedly different than it is when virtually any other topic is discussed where I hear a very balanced approach to the issue at hand.
I’m gonna go wacky on you for a moment and try to illustrate an example that I might be able to use, to try to distance ourselves from the drama that male/female relationship seems to consistently trigger.
OK, we start with a cow. Humans like to eat cow.Cows do not ever pose a similar threat to the existence of mankind. One day, all cows decide they have had enough of being taken for granted and being considered a food source. The cows are not satisfied with a promise that we will no longer eat them. They decide that they will now include humans in their diet and become predatory.
From our perspective, that’s overdoing it. we think they should just be satisfied that we remove them from our list of available food sources. But hey, Billy-Bob, or Donald, or Richard (Dick for short) figure its ok for them to occasionally sneak a filet here or there. Then there are those other nationalities where they have different culture where cow is fair game.
We are looking at two very big demographics, Cow/Human
Cows have been assumed to be our food source for hundreds of generations and all indicators are that this food choice will not be removed quietly. We had it good for a long time where we can just go our and buy steak, liver, even tongue for crying out loud with no argument from the supplying source
So, if they ate just one person to make a point; wouldn’t there be a huge uproar from humanity? its a wtf of humongous magnitude. Now let’s say they ate more than half of humans; we’d be furious even though, in all fairness, we have eaten perhaps more than half of them.
I think women are well within their right to be mad. We men have screwed them over for far too long. We deserve every bit of shit they throw at us because, as a person who has tremendous respect for all the women in my life, I am still conditioned to take them for granted. That is not going to go away on its own. Its going to take a hammering to get this mental mindset that has been around since some strong ape of a Neanderthal dipped his dick where it may not have been necessarily wanted at that particular moment.
I have no idea if you stayed with me on that ride. I better go eat something.
@spitfire3dc Wow! Thank you. Your wife is raising you right. (I joke, but I bet her influence is helpful. We all need a good sounding board, and I know you have one in her…and she in you.)
We are not asking to eat men…I mean…we are not asking for the right to grab dick and masturbate in front of men. We are telling our stories, we want to be believed and we want it to stop. ….and yes, thank you to the men who have told their stories too.
Key word here, CONSENT.
@Gina
And consent is an aspect of respect.
But right now — particularly in the young males — is the very real impression that they can only be respected . . . if they feminize. (A perspective gained from over 30 years of working closely with children).
We live in a culture where any possible respect for the masculine, is buried so deep under a mountain of anger, rage, scorn and at times revenge . . . that most young males simply cannot access it. They are carrying around such a heavy burden of guilt for simply being male.
And this is going to backfire in the fullness of time.
@spitfire3dc
Yes, I’m still here. It was an interesting ride, and a caution gratefully accepted.
We all have “the right” to be mad.
My observation however, is that almost anything we try to power with anger and rage tends to run amok. And I seriously hope that movements of equality, growth and positive change don’t run amok.
Yes. Men need some hammering to change a mindset that has brought our species to this point of dominance on the Earth. Realities can and do change, and adapting is necessary.
But women also need cautioning in regards to the less savory aspects of their nature. There will come a point (perhaps not as far off as most might think), where the nagging and guilting and psychological assault upon the males is going to backfire.
And one cannot demand respect, from those they show little respect for themselves. That equation will never balance — and will always result in a back-and-forth pendulum-swing of warfare.
Change is coming. Stay tuned…
@Gina
I don’t doubt that.
We just need to remember our history of making changes that our grandchildren will regret. Any grab for respect that disrespects others, cannot succeed for any length of time.
@griz Please tell me who is being disrespected.
@Gina
We should be able to talk about general processes detrimental to all of us . . . without it being about assessing specific blame.
Oh my goddess.
@Gina
So what is it you believe this image is saying/contributing?
@griz Strength, wisdom, beauty, resiliency, leader, mentor…
@Gina
But hopefully not to the point of worship. (You did call her your goddess!)
So where do you think this might tie into “a culture of outrage and injury”?
@griz I don’t worship people. I was playing with words, I thought Oprah looked like a kick ass goddess in that photo, “Oh My Goodness”!
@Gina
Ladies,…this is not just a command, but advice.
Leave your beautiful eyebrows alone.
@luftballooneyegouge That shot of Oprah is her character, Mrs. Which from A Wrinkle in Time. It looks fantastic!
@Gina
Skippin’ the trailer, & (barely) thinkin’ it’s Tropic Thunder in reverse.
I won’t back down.
@Gina
Perseverance is good.
Stubbornness; not so much.
@griz Who is being stubborn?
@Gina
A statement can just be that. I was not expecting you to take it personally.
I find it helps to remember that even though Jesus had a superior message, he knew when it was time to not just to back down, but to get the hell out of Jerusalem. Because if he had stubbornly remained rooted where he was, he would not be alive to return at a more opportune time (just a few days later).
There is this notion in Western thinking that we always have to be the aggressor, always on the attack, always digging in.
When many battles have been ultimately won by those who were willing to give some ground, trusting that a more opportune time will come to gain it back and more.
Let’s lighten this up a bit. This is from The Daily Show, a show about politics, in the form of satire. So, don’t get all judgie.
@Gina
Thanks for the share. It certainly was entertaining; thought I expect that guy at the mixing board to be axed soon for that “supportive like an underwire bra” comment.
We need to be free to joke and lighten things up with humor — even irreverent humor — without fear of the PC cops trying to police us.
I do believe all men but I should be eunuchs and put to death for touching my/all women, but really everybody needs to take a step back and just
have an internet lottery once a week where we just have paypal names, or whatever in an internet basket where everybody on the internet sends that person a dollor or 50¢ to the name pulled out the hat. A new millionaire-billionaire a week.
THAT’s HOW Y’DO PROJECT MAYHEM!!!!!!!!!
I lost my virginity against my will,… for like a minute.
Men r from Mers Chicks’re from Veen……
I think Astronomers pick funny sounding names for planets.
Planet Dirt…..
@luftballooneyegouge Did you really? Well, I did and I never have once thought of it as a joke.
@Gina
I’m sure if it had involved something physically internal happening to me, I’d feel similar.