Part of being an adult is age. For instance, a 5 year old will never be considered an adult, irrespective of other factors.
Part of it is culture. In Judiasm you have the Bar and Bat Mitzvah, which happens,at 12 years old.
Part of it is a thing of law. People of certain ages can’t have sex (even though they’re only a few years different). There’s differences in ages to drink around the world.
The last part of it seems to be willing to stand behind the consequences of one’s own behavior(s) – being able to say “yes, i did this.” And then express pride, or sadness/ ashamed-ness over their actions. Those who hide behind a laywer when totally guilty don’t fall into this last category.
@Jear77 I don’t think we ever. completely leave our child like selves behind. I think that five year old is still in there, and comes out at different times. We can use the five year old as a gift, tho, and bring them out when we color.
When they are able to accept full responsibility for their actions or inactions; and secondarily to be able to act for a greater good than just themselves and their immediate environment.
(A definition that admittedly would render vast segments of the population as children running around in adult skins)
@griz e all have a child ego sate, an adult ego state, and a parent ego state. the trick is to learn to use the nurturing parent as a gift rather, and the free child as a gift, rather than using the child to cope with adult problems.
@griz even willingness is meaningless when one’s hands are ties as far as options go. People do what they must in a situation, and afterwards shouldn’t need to take responsibility for their actions because they were forced, i.e. “checkmated” into the course of action.
@luftballooneyegouge ha ha. funny. oddly enough, I haven’t had a drink in a couple years. I didn’t have a substance abuse issue, just one day, I didn’t ever want it anymore
For me, it was when I did not need another person for support of any kind and did not need my parents for financial support. When there was no returning home. When Mom said for me to bring my kids and come live with her —- and my answer was , “Hell no.” I knew I had this and could raise my children alone, as a single mother. That is when I became an adult.
Part age, part responsibility. Like, I am male. I am a guy. It bothers me a little though when people call me a man, and I steer clear of using that term when describing myself. I just don’t have that ‘responsible’ part. I haven’t “earned” it, I guess, or I just don’t feel like I have.
14 responses to “adulthood”
Part of being an adult is age. For instance, a 5 year old will never be considered an adult, irrespective of other factors.
Part of it is culture. In Judiasm you have the Bar and Bat Mitzvah, which happens,at 12 years old.
Part of it is a thing of law. People of certain ages can’t have sex (even though they’re only a few years different). There’s differences in ages to drink around the world.
The last part of it seems to be willing to stand behind the consequences of one’s own behavior(s) – being able to say “yes, i did this.” And then express pride, or sadness/ ashamed-ness over their actions. Those who hide behind a laywer when totally guilty don’t fall into this last category.
@Jear77 I don’t think we ever. completely leave our child like selves behind. I think that five year old is still in there, and comes out at different times. We can use the five year old as a gift, tho, and bring them out when we color.
When they are able to accept full responsibility for their actions or inactions; and secondarily to be able to act for a greater good than just themselves and their immediate environment.
(A definition that admittedly would render vast segments of the population as children running around in adult skins)
@griz e all have a child ego sate, an adult ego state, and a parent ego state. the trick is to learn to use the nurturing parent as a gift rather, and the free child as a gift, rather than using the child to cope with adult problems.
@Scarlett
I’ve personally found good traction in distinguishing between childish, and child-like.
The latter is good exercise of the child archetype within us (curiosity, wonderment, play, zeal for learning and discovery).
The former is what we need to set aside to become functional adults.
@griz full responsibility for all their actions. Is this even remotely possible. No. Everything is too interconnected.
@Jear77
Are you sure that is not just an excuse?
Would it change anything if I said the willingness to take full responsibility?
@griz even willingness is meaningless when one’s hands are ties as far as options go. People do what they must in a situation, and afterwards shouldn’t need to take responsibility for their actions because they were forced, i.e. “checkmated” into the course of action.
@Jear77
The will to do anything good is most certainly not meaningless.
Because where there’s a will there’s a way.
(Recognizing that will is active whereas a wish is passive)
Doesn’t matter the age, it’s whether one has to hide their drinking or not.
@luftballooneyegouge ha ha. funny. oddly enough, I haven’t had a drink in a couple years. I didn’t have a substance abuse issue, just one day, I didn’t ever want it anymore
For me, it was when I did not need another person for support of any kind and did not need my parents for financial support. When there was no returning home. When Mom said for me to bring my kids and come live with her —- and my answer was , “Hell no.” I knew I had this and could raise my children alone, as a single mother. That is when I became an adult.
@ladybarbara I think it was quite wise not to return to your mother
Part age, part responsibility. Like, I am male. I am a guy. It bothers me a little though when people call me a man, and I steer clear of using that term when describing myself. I just don’t have that ‘responsible’ part. I haven’t “earned” it, I guess, or I just don’t feel like I have.