is it okay for men to comment on women’s bodies?
what about women commenting on men’s bodies?
or women commenting on women’s bodies?
or men commenting on men’s bodies?
should comedians be allowed to comment on people’s bodies?
what about people’s bodies, if anything, should be off limits?
© 2026 – SoulSequel
12 responses to “bodies”
Comedians serve an essential purpose in society. They are the court jester; the fool who can say things to the king that no one else would dare.
Because to chastise the fool makes one an even bigger fool. If you think you may be offended by a comedian, go listen to something else!
Any compliment paid to women can be re-translated as sexual misconduct up to 40 years after the fact. So why bother?
But there’s a corollary to this. If men are not allowed to operate sexually in the workplace, neither should the women. The main purpose of many fashions high heel shoes and makeup is to send a sexual signal.
And if an egalitarian workplace is the goal, allowing this kind of advantage of one sex over the other is unfair.
As for men complimenting men, why not? We already have a time-honored method of dealing with issues in the dominance hierarchy. If someone is threatened by what you say they’ll try to punch you in the nose. A struggle may ensue; but if both are well-adjusted sorts of fellows, the hierarchy will be restored and they will become even better friends over a beer.
It usually doesn’t go this far (the physical altercation; the beer often happens!). But the threat that it may happen has been enough to keep men in a stable if not peaceful hierarchy for millions of years.
The problem right now is that women are trying to suddenly rewrite in 50 years, The Rules of Engagement that have evolved organically, (via Hypergamy) for a least 290 million years.
Will the forced rewrite be successful? Nobody can say.
But it does seem to be spinning off into some very socio-toxic directions.
@griz in the current climate, how would you approach a woman you were interested in?
@Scarlett
That my friend, has turned into an inordinately complex question!
It used to be just a function of primal processes (move in and dominate when certain signals are given), tempered by the Gentleman process (assume all the risk, make the proposition, give the woman the final say, and deal with any consequences)
The complexity comes in women wanting even more power in an equation where they already have most of the power. Do they want the old system or the new? Or parts of each and which parts?
Do they want to wear the proverbial dress or the proverbial pants?
With no clear indication of just what women want, I suppose I would treat it like a pure business transaction. We are almost at the point where you need to get everything in writing.
And I think that’s a shame. The classic gender roles and game of romance leading to monogamous lifetime commitment provided many stabilizing benefits to the society, to those involved in the relationship . . . and most importantly, to the children.
I can understand why so many men are deciding its more bothering than it’s worth. It’s far less risky to just find some strange bed-fellow who will give you your desired brain-chemical surges.
Women need to watch that the zeal for what they think they want, they don’t lose what they truly want. What the species truly needs. For they are the genetic Vanguard.
I was going to say YES to all of these questions. At the risk of sounding smarmy, I’ll try to answer YES with certain qualifications specific to situational aspects…bare with me here.
Women tend to flaunt themselves before men, consciously and sub-consciously, in an attempt to attract a mate. Men do the same to women. As a species, humans are no different than any other lower life forms when it comes to attracting a potential mate.
Women employ all sorts of tactics to get an advantage over other women in their endeavors. They paint themselves with make up and sweet perfumes in their quest to draw in and grab the attention of men. So naturally, men are going to comment on women’s bodies…and of course, women do the same thing. They talk to each other about mens bodies. This is how it has been for thousands of years, and probably will continue for as long as humans continue to dominate the food chain on this planet.
Men and women will always compare notes with each other on the subject. Perhaps this is a tribal instinct of your species. Men talk to men about women, and women talk to women about men.
Men, as a species, are simple creatures, with simple needs…we want food when we’re hungry and drink when we’re thirsty…and sex all the time.
Women are a bit more complex as a species. Women want stability, loyalty, companionship, and security (physical and emotional).
Men are like submarines, we go from compartment to compartment dogging the hatches behind us as we move through the ship… Women are like the ENTIRE OCEAN. There are no hatches, no doors to close behind themselves, they remember everything…and they store every incident, real or imagined, to use at a later date as ammunition in arguments between each other and with men.
Is anything off limits? Probably…but that is and always has been, a matter of perception.
@immortal_pirate
Alter the perceptions and anything is permissible.
But without a fixed North Star, nobody would have been able to know where they were, or find their way home again.
@immortal_pirate I dunno if thats true about men wanting sex all the time. can we get a poll here?
In any case, its true what you write about it all being a tradition as old as time.
What would you personally say and do, and what, if anything would you refrain from when It comes to the opposite sex? would you cat call? Is there a line between appropriate and inappropriate?
@Scarlett
“All the time” is an exaggeration.
But not much of one!
I remember a study on this topic from the fifties, I think: placing it just before the advent of the birth control pill. The difference between how often men and women saw the world through “sexual eyes” was something like 11:1. With a large portion of this happening for the women during the most fertile parts of their cycle. And now remember that the birth control pill makes women infertile all of the time.
I’ve not come across any recent studies. It’s possible an over-compensation process (trying to recapture something lost) has the ladies thinking about it more often. But there’s just as good a case for the reverse to be true.
Remember that men are not as psychologically complex as women, and that women are the genetic vanguard for our species. 190 million years of evolution around the ladies’ hidden ovulation and hypergamy have necessitated the men always being “turned on” (not to mention aggressively competitive)
And if the pill has indeed made ladies less seriously interested most of the time, its very likely that this would make the men more interested.
Remember that despite all of the other social games we may think are important, passing on one’s genes to the next cycle is primitively paramount.
Personally, I’d advise against it at the most part. In private, go for it. In public or to the person, that is totally different. There are some exceptions. Like, does their body affect what they are doing? In WWE, there are some small and huge people. Small people get launched across the ring, big people tend to do the tossing. There is a big guy, Braun Strowman, who hits dropkicks on people from time to time. Big people in wrestling tend to keep their feet on the ground, so I think bringing up someone’s body in amazement that they do something that big people usually don’t or can’t is fine. There is a woman wrestler, Nia Jax, who is bigger and breaks the normal mold WWE has set for decades. She is awesome at what she does though. Her entrance music starts off with, “I’m not like most girls.” If we are using body image for positive influence like that or when someone has been working to change their body, then it is fine. Just commenting on someone’s body randomly or for sexual reasons is a bit odd. Don’t be rude and body shame, for starters. Then there are people who are harassed for their looks, which is not ok. There is a bit of “know your audience” when it comes to comments about the body. Overall, I’d just advise against it across the board. If you still want to do it, then try I guess. If the person tells you not to, then I am standing in their corner.
@yin I was wondering If one of the answers to the questions had to be no, do they all have to be no. I think it is not okay to body shame for sure, but it is done so often in our culture. why do you think that is? is it getting worse? with everyone trying to get the “perfect selfie” for Instagram?
I think there is something to the ability to read people, as well. Say you are attracted to a woman, maybe that is how she hears attraction, through words of affirmation. So if you say nothing, she will never know of your feelings.
@Scarlett See, that is what I was trying to answer in my head before responding but it is a bit more nuanced. Like, guys overall seem to be fine with the good comments, even if it the stuff that is the same that is harassment for a lot women. I am going to say that it should be ‘no’ down the board. Just to be courteous and just to treat everyone the same. Of course, there are people who love the attention and comments, but I think one should learn who the person is before attempting that. Just try to make sure what they like and don’t like. Random comments are just creepy and ill-advised overall.
Humans are shallow & prejudiced at the thick initial layer and any limits will go against the grain & have a mess in the end.
Shaming the shamer is the most effective recourse I can come up with off the top of my head, but that might be the thick initial layer of shallow prejudice talkin’?
As for commenting on people, the classic behind-the-back move at least forms a buffer, & provides the opportunity to say, “Whaaaaaat?!?!? I Never Said That!”
In general men should not. Those sorts are uncomfortable as straight, so the fake it.