Can’t is just another word for being half-assed….sometimes.

When was the last time you thought to yourself…”I can’t”, but then, guess what? YOU DID?

I’ve heard of instances where the word can’t should not be used as it generally places self-limitations on our ability to achieve some of the goals we set. In other words, it’s basically mental self sabotage. Fun right?

I guess in some cases the word can’t can be helpful though. i.e.
Question: “Hey, wanna go rock climbing this weekend?”
Response: “No I can’t. I’m inexperienced and I don’t have the proper gear”

This would be and example the proper and healthy use of the word can’t. Even if the word can’t is used, it’s stated with conditions that could be met, to enable the possibility.

15 responses to “Can’t is just another word for being half-assed….sometimes.”

  1. Jear77 says:

    What about when we put *reasonable* conditions? For instance, I can’t take a job in commission only sales because, in general, I know it would be unwise to do so. (Ironically enough, even though it’s my policy to avoid such things, i am seriously considering doing a type of sales where I am in full control of how I do things)

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    • mamajoy says:

      I don’t think that’s really a can’t statement…that’s a won’t. I don’t even though if there is a difference between the two. What do you think?

      You can’t take a commission only sales position, because it would be unwise do to…why would it be unwise? It’s likely because you don’t feel that you have the ability or skill to make a steady income with a paycheck based only on commission. This is something that you can develop, if you so choose to. Again, coming back to the half-assed attempt that’s not really an attempt at all when someone dismisses the challenge before it’s taken.

      But you can answer my question. What was the last thing you felt you couldn’t do, but you did?

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      • Jear77 says:

        I agree. I won’t do sales because I don’t care if I sell something or not. Sales, in general is annoying to me. Why should I care if you buy my product?

        In regards to can’t, I thought it would be extremely difficult to get a job in a timely fashion. I thought I couldn’t get a job (reasonably) quickly. I told one job “no” because it was WAY too early. In my home town it would take OVER an hour to get there if it was bad weather. And I needed to be functional (even though it would have been getting more hours, a bit more pay I feel that what got was a better deal because I the last time I *really* worked like this before was 15+ years ago)

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      • Fletch says:

        I can’t birth a child.

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      • mamajoy says:

        Hmph….maybe you just aren’t trying hard enough. :rolf:

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      • Fletch says:

        it’s HARD finding a suitable donor :tease:

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  2. “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    Courage to change the things I can,
    And wisdom to know the difference.”-Reinhold Niebuhr’s Serenity Prayer :angry:

    Oh yeah, there was this time when we were climbing up on store roofs, & I didn’t think I could pull myself up by my arms with just a ledge to grab with my fingers. I said, “can’t” our alpha-male buddy said, “CAN”, so I did.
    Rock climbing is some fun really really hard work, & people are usually willing to share gear especially with a Viiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrgin.

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  3. “I guess in some cases the word can’t can be helpful though. i.e.
    Question: “Hey, wanna go rock climbing this weekend?”
    Response: “No I can’t. I’m inexperienced and I don’t have the proper gear””

    Sounds like a polite lie to give an excuse instead of the truth….

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  4. ladybarbara says:

    Won’t is my life’s operable word. I have not faced much of “can’t” in my life. However, my body is old and there are times that I find that I cannot do things. In the desert, I cannot climb cliffs, or even slide down into a gully. I stay up on the edge and watch Immortal Pirate climb and jump in ways that I can no longer do.

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  5. BelleMadre says:

    if we say I Wont and then figure out why, maybe we will realize we just dont want to or maybe we will see our way past the ‘cant’
    you know?

    like, i Cant drive, but really i just have never never tried to learn. so cant is correct but it isnt like i am incapable i just havent the learnin yet

    right?

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  6. ladybarbara says:

    Thinking about it, can’t has come up in my life as cerebral palsy set in. A head injury at 8 years old made my brain fight my muscles at 15. Dancing on roller skates had me in competitions, then at 15, I suddenly could not spin to the left. After so many years at being good at it, it was a mystery when I could no longer spin to the left. But I teamed up with a boy who also was not able to spin left and we danced spinning to the right.

    At school, in sports, every game got harder and harder, until the ball or puck came my way and I caught it and held it — while teammates called out my last name. I could not run anymore and could not hit or return the ball. I froze in my inability. My tremors were starting and lack of coordination stopped many of the things I once enjoyed doing. I faced the “I can’t” and made it into “I won’t”. I am no longer interested in sports.

    At 33, I realized that I could not control my tremors enough to measure gold thickness on a beta-scope. So, I moved up to the Manager’s position and told others to do that job. When I got into house cleaning, my tremors were just right for scrubbing and dusting.
    I did not run into the “I can’t” until Immortal Pirate challenged me with climbing the stairway at the theater. It was hard for me to get up those steps and I was slow. I was not going to say that I couldn’t.

    Then, after 3 months of stem cell treatments (with stem cells grown from the marrow of my bones extracted from my hip), I ran up the stairs and raced Immortal Pirate and won that race. We danced at the New Years Eve party. My new “I can” attitude is only hampered by my growing old and brittle boned.

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  7. Spitfire3dC says:

    When can’t is the starting point; I think it affects the neural response associated with the creative right side of the brain. A person can get stuck in the left hemisphere and become rationally, irrational because the value in the brain is in the capacity for both sides to be working in harmony to be more than the sum of the parts.

    I’m a believer in the Universal Law of Attraction and just as positive outcomes can come from positive thoughts, so can negative outcomes come from negative thoughts.

    Ideas just come when you start with; How can I solve this? , versus putting up a barrier that prevents ideas from being formed.

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  8. griz says:

    I’ve personally taken a lot of “can’t’s” rock climbing, even though they were inexperienced and didn’t have gear!
    Actually, I’ve done the same for people who can’t do photography too. One of them is still at it and better than I am!

    Too often we mis-use can’t: we really mean “won’t”.

    A possible proper use of “can’t” might be if someone had told us something in confidence and we are asked to divulge it. But even then, we logically “could”. It would still be a “won’t”.

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