I don’t think I would try to raise a child gender neutral, but I think maybe knowing all I do now, I may be more neutral in the colors and toys I select for them until I see their personality emerge, and then I would want to go with the idea they have of themselves, whatever that may be.
when I was growing up, at my house, it was all about gender roles. the women/girls took care of the house. mom was mostly a homemaker, and dad was the provider. dad was the disciplinarian.
my brothers were never asked to wash a single dish, but they always took out the trash.
to this day, when there is a holiday gathering, the sisters are asked what they are cooking and bringing to the event, but not the men.
I think I got the bulk of my ideas from my parents who raised us in a very gender typical home.
I still associate some things with certain genders, like dresses
Boys play with cars, girls play with dolls, both play with toy animals.
Men drive. Women ride.
Men cut the grass. Women do the laundry.
I’m not saying that these should be hard and fast rules, but it’s how it goes in my life as we wander thoughtlessly forward.
I think this all came from the observations we made of the roles played out by our parents.
I live in a very conventional relationship that made practical productivity of coupledom very easy. The map was there. All we had to do was project the destination on the map and plan our route. That’s way easier than “anything goes” and committe meetings to dole our responsibilities based on fairness to all. Fairness to all means fairness to each and each person can have very different perceptions about what is fair…to them.
I have friends who shake their heads when I might comment on how we exist as a couple, versus their more equalised responability delegations. But we are aware of our roles, we accept them without concern, it supports each of our needs to be needed and we do act as assistant’s to support our assigned roles.
I dry dishes and carry the laundry basket up and down the stairs. She will hold the end of a board I am cutting and clear the deck of snow while I’m doing the driveway. We understand the expectations of the other, because we witnessed this approach growing up and we are more productive because of it.
We don’t look for reasons for why it might not be fair. We choose to celebrate how we can accomplish more.
We raised our kids through the process of trying to set a good example. My daughter has her own power tools and knows how to use them. My sons cook and do the laundry. We encouraged them to be self sufficient and that seems to over ride gender based roles.
@spitfire3dc
I think that the genders have “norms”; but there are always exceptions to these.
What we are seeing now is the inevitable back-lash to not being sensitive to these exceptions. But that’s brought us to a point of “the exceptions” trying to take over and become the “new norm”.
But it very obviously is not . . . and this adds a lot of emotional dynamite to the issue as backlash to the backlash of the backlash takes hold.
It seems to me that both of the sexes tend to gravitate to the jobs and tasks they either a) enjoy or b) are best suited to. And women being “more suited” to child birth and rearing meant they were kept closer to home. So why not take care of that home?
This left a lot of stuff “away from home” that even if the men didn’t like doing it, still had to be done. So they did it. Much of it being so hard, dirty or dangerous that it was not “fit work for a woman”, the mothers of the future generations.
We have an artificial construct trying to push for a kind of “equality” that is just isn’t feasible or even logical. For example, wanting total equality when it comes to the most lucrative and highest-paying jobs of influence, but a total lack of equality when it comes to the dirty, dangerous, difficult, drudgery jobs. “Oh, that’s man’s work; and they do it because they must enjoy it!”.
And so much of “the over-stretching” we’re doing to try to service this artificial construct, is going to end up hurting us as a society.
We can have a kind of equality and respect that means celebrating each person’s strengths and helping to carry their weaknesses. But the various and very vocal sex-and-gender agendas at work have little interest in this.
They are more into power-struggles one over the other.
i would not raise a child gender neutral. i think at a very early point it would not be up to me. i suppose it is the ultimate freedom to allow a child to grow into whatever gender they aim for, but i think that is going to happen anyway, under the right open caring environment. parents, caregivers, etc… we are the first line of decision making. from the minute i decided to quit drinking booze but not coffee i was choosing something for the babe within. im babbling. i guess we do our best, but i wouldnt use my child in that way. i think that would be too much about my own choices and not theirs.
as for gender roles and tasks, i like to look at things as who is able to do what? why should certain tasks fall to certain people because of gender? i think either what we are good at or what is needed in the moment. cooking is my favourite gender bender example. in ye old days, women were cooks men were chefs. now some of my favourite people are women chefs.
the ideas about gender that i have, i grew in to. based on how life happened, what is/was necessary. my mum worked, my dad stayed home and drank home brew. so there was a reversal from the get go. we kids learned how to cook/fend for ourselves when needed. it wasnt about Thats the Girls Job it was a trade off, if you make the food ill clean up the dog crap. (and let me tell you, my brother would choose making grilled cheese over cleaning up after the dogs any day :D). my son has never heard me say Take out the garbage thats a boys job, but he has heard me say, can you take out the garbage while i check on the chicken. i think it is more about keeping a boat afloat based on skill sets and sharing responsibility. so i guess i formed my gender ideas from life and work experience. luckily its all so fluid that what makes sense in one home doesnt have to in another. too bad we cant worry more about our own homes
I know what society thinks the norms are for each gender, but I have never followed them; and neither did my parents. I know my mom wanted to, but she was more successful in bringing home the dough than my dad; and my dad was content with taking us to our sporting events, doing laundry and cooking. Neither of my parents were good at working on cars, or taking care of a yard. They both were good at socializing, dancing and singing.
Being part of a same-sex couple gives us the freedom to do the tasks in the house we are both good at and enjoy doing. We take turns on the tasks we both can do, but both can’t stand doing; like cleaning the bathroom. We both love to cook. I am best in the garden, and my partner is best at mechanical stuff; so, you know who oversees those things. I had sociable parents, and my partner didn’t; so guess who plans all the vacations and parties? That would be me, and I enjoy doing it.
An ideal world would be like this: All genders would learn to cook, clean, garden and work on cars (mechanical things), take care of the money etc.
I just hung out with my 4 year old grand nephew. He asked to help me in the kitchen. It would have been easier to not have him in the kitchen, but I couldn’t say no as this is a great learning experience for a little boy.
Less and less people are getting married, so I think it’s highly important for both sexes to know how to survive in the world, without having to depend on the other gender to take care of them.
All of my children are grown to adulthood, with clearly defined gender roles. Whatever they decide to do with that upbringing is their business, and I shall support them and continue to love them regardless of their personal choices.
I have no interest in fathering any more off spring anytime soon. I think the idea of gender neutrality is a mistake that will come back to bite mankind on the ass, at a biological procreation continuation of the species level.
I raised my sons to be “boys”. I bought trucks and hot wheels cars with tracks all over the room. I bought them dirt bikes and dirt bike motorcycles to ride in the deserts. I did all I could to guide them towards masculine directions. In spite of my guidance, boy #1 was only interested in building things with the Lego blocks and erector sets. He built things that did things. Robotics was his passion. When placed on a Moto-cross bike with other boys tearing up the bike hills kicking up dirt, son #1 just took a slow tour of the course, slowly up each hill and slowly down the other side. When I was counseled to allow him to do what he wants to do with the bike, he turned it upside down and used the sprockets and pedals to power a windmill that he built. —– So, I bought him a Moto-cross motorcycle for the desert. While the other boys were kicking up hills and jumping on ramps, my son found the main road and drove the bike to Palm Springs and back to the desert bike trails. Had we known he was on the highway with the motorcycle, without a license or license plate, I would have taken the bike away from him. I watched him take the desert hills and ramps slowly up, and slowly down the other side. He finally addressed me and said, “Look. I am doing this because you said to ride the bike on the trails. I don’t want to race around. I don’t want to do this at all. I am doing it because you told me to, but you can’t force me to go fast.” —– So, I signed him up for soccer. He walked the field and the other team players kept shouting out his last name, but not in a good way. When I asked him why he wasn’t playing the game, he said, “I am out here because you want me out here, but you can’t make me run, or play the game.” I gave up on him. From then on, I allowed him to pick out his toys and he picked pulley ropes, little motors, engines, and all sorts of metal parts to build things that do things. As a teenager, he excelled through high school faster than the other boys. He ditched when he could because school bored him. He decided to run away from home. Did he run away from home like other kids —- only to return later??? No. He ran away and went to Hong Kong. Once he got to Hong Kong, he got a job sweeping floors at a hospital and paid his way through school and college to become a gay Chinese guy that looked like a white Dutch guy. He speaks Chinese and came back to the Untied States as a man. He is a nurse at a Children’s Hospital and makes robotics that allow crippled children to do the things their crippled bodies won’t do. He is gay, but hides it because he works with children. He does not want to be found out as gay and lose his job.
Son #2 was given the same masculine toys and spent his play time in the kitchen — not playing with anything I bought. The moto-cross bike sat un-rode, and he cleaned it a lot. When I insisted that he ride the bike trails, he WALKED the bike on the trails. He did the same thing with the motorcycle dirt bikes. He walked the bike, peed his pants and cried that I was mean to him. When I signed him up for soccer, He stood on the field and peed his soccer shorts and cried that he didn’t want to play that game. At home, he took his Tonka Trucks down the street to a house where girls wanted to play in the dirt with the trucks —– and in turn, they let my son play with the doll house and dolls. And then came the day that I lifted his mattress and found a picture of a man’s penis. (!!!!) I carefully put it back where I found it and said nothing. I watched my son very carefully to see WHO was in my son’s life. I wanted to catch the man who took the Polaroid picture, but I never found anyone. In high school, my gay son was obsessed with Boy George and putting on make-up. I gave up. He is a boy who wants to be female. Now he is a man who wants to be female, collect doll houses and tiny doll house furniture and live in a pretend world of playing with silly toys. I tried to help him once, but he moved into my house and decided to be boss of the house and tell me what to do. When I told him that I own my house and he will not be telling me what to do, he ran away!!! I did a dance and went to Disneyland. My 45 year old son ran away!!! I have not talked to him since then.
No matter what you do to raise your child, the child is going to be who the child wants to be and there is nothing you can do about it. I made peace with the fact that both of my sons are gay. They live their own lives. The best part is that they live far away from me and never visit anymore. I’m really happy with that.
Just basic stuff, like childbirth (things the bodies do for specific genders.) I mean, first thoughts in my mind say things like makeup, dresses, ties, and things like that, but I know that those don’t matter at all. I mean, dresses are for females because we say, but people wear kilts or wear other attire that could be classified as a dress but was normal for guys to wear. Guys in front of cameras wear makeup, but no one ever says anything about that. We classify things as male and female like that just because we could. There is never a good reason for it. It just is because enough people say so. It’s dumb overall. I get falling into it and even kind of feeling it a certain way, especially since society does affect us like that, but I just think that it is totally unneeded.
To me, gender is what is naturally, physically manifest.
The mindsets that such natural physical manifestations can and do tend to develop, are then addendum on top of this; and can run the full spectrum from masculine to feminine.
But there to me, is a beauty in what is naturally, physically manifest. Some of Humanity’s artificial adaptations on top of this have produced benefits; but also a lot of detriment — often evident only farther down the road; paid for by future generations.
I would never dream of raising a child gender neutral. I see this as a form of unnecessary stress to service a socio-political agenda: perhaps even an abuse at the extreme.
I once saw a documentary where this “agenda” took a body of children who’s parents had agreed to guinea-pig them into a gender neutral upbringing and was shocked and embarrassed when boys and girls flocked to gender-specific toys they had never been exposed to. They tried to re-bias the experiment back to their desired agenda by blatantly confusing the gender-appeal of the various toys . . . and the children all milled about in a corner confused, not playing with any of the munged toys.
Women give birth and breast-feed, men make women pregnant. Other than that, nothing much different in their roles except whatever has to do with the first years of an infant.
I don’t get why so many folks are against raising children gender-neutral. My parents did, and I think it’s one of the best things they did for me. I had the sickest collection of toy cars in my class – I asked my Mom to buy them, she didn’t force them on me. But I also played with the cars as “here’s Mrs. Smith driving to the grocery store” (very much playing “house”). I also had My Little Ponies. That some boys gave me :) I remember my little neighbor boy showing off his particularly gorgeous My Little Pony with glossy pink wavy mane that he was proud of. I also played house with boys – I mean, come on, SOMEBODY had to be the father/husband. (I was the dog). This was in Romania, where boys and girls played together. We were also mostly very poor and didn’t have many toys, so we played with each other more than with toys, which bridged the gender role gap.
I loved hiking and biking and playing soccer. My brother loved cooking – and he’s good at it! He’s married now with a kid. We both drew comics, out of our own initiative. My brother’s stories were more “boyish” than mine. My brother played the guitar, I played the recorder. We practiced together.
20 years later, I’m a female scientist that has absolutely zero concept of “I’m not supposed to do that”, which kind of boosts my self confidence. I do whatever I want, not whatever “girls are supposed to want”.
I’m not gay. I’m not transgender. I don’t wear make-up and I make sure people see me as a person and not as a sex object. So I don’t get the backfire that people talk about here.
When I have kids, I will raise them the same way, since it was a success for my brother and me.
13 responses to “gender”
I don’t think I would try to raise a child gender neutral, but I think maybe knowing all I do now, I may be more neutral in the colors and toys I select for them until I see their personality emerge, and then I would want to go with the idea they have of themselves, whatever that may be.
when I was growing up, at my house, it was all about gender roles. the women/girls took care of the house. mom was mostly a homemaker, and dad was the provider. dad was the disciplinarian.
my brothers were never asked to wash a single dish, but they always took out the trash.
to this day, when there is a holiday gathering, the sisters are asked what they are cooking and bringing to the event, but not the men.
I think I got the bulk of my ideas from my parents who raised us in a very gender typical home.
I still associate some things with certain genders, like dresses
Boys play with cars, girls play with dolls, both play with toy animals.
Men drive. Women ride.
Men cut the grass. Women do the laundry.
I’m not saying that these should be hard and fast rules, but it’s how it goes in my life as we wander thoughtlessly forward.
I think this all came from the observations we made of the roles played out by our parents.
I live in a very conventional relationship that made practical productivity of coupledom very easy. The map was there. All we had to do was project the destination on the map and plan our route. That’s way easier than “anything goes” and committe meetings to dole our responsibilities based on fairness to all. Fairness to all means fairness to each and each person can have very different perceptions about what is fair…to them.
I have friends who shake their heads when I might comment on how we exist as a couple, versus their more equalised responability delegations. But we are aware of our roles, we accept them without concern, it supports each of our needs to be needed and we do act as assistant’s to support our assigned roles.
I dry dishes and carry the laundry basket up and down the stairs. She will hold the end of a board I am cutting and clear the deck of snow while I’m doing the driveway. We understand the expectations of the other, because we witnessed this approach growing up and we are more productive because of it.
We don’t look for reasons for why it might not be fair. We choose to celebrate how we can accomplish more.
We raised our kids through the process of trying to set a good example. My daughter has her own power tools and knows how to use them. My sons cook and do the laundry. We encouraged them to be self sufficient and that seems to over ride gender based roles.
@spitfire3dc
I think that the genders have “norms”; but there are always exceptions to these.
What we are seeing now is the inevitable back-lash to not being sensitive to these exceptions. But that’s brought us to a point of “the exceptions” trying to take over and become the “new norm”.
But it very obviously is not . . . and this adds a lot of emotional dynamite to the issue as backlash to the backlash of the backlash takes hold.
It seems to me that both of the sexes tend to gravitate to the jobs and tasks they either a) enjoy or b) are best suited to. And women being “more suited” to child birth and rearing meant they were kept closer to home. So why not take care of that home?
This left a lot of stuff “away from home” that even if the men didn’t like doing it, still had to be done. So they did it. Much of it being so hard, dirty or dangerous that it was not “fit work for a woman”, the mothers of the future generations.
We have an artificial construct trying to push for a kind of “equality” that is just isn’t feasible or even logical. For example, wanting total equality when it comes to the most lucrative and highest-paying jobs of influence, but a total lack of equality when it comes to the dirty, dangerous, difficult, drudgery jobs. “Oh, that’s man’s work; and they do it because they must enjoy it!”.
And so much of “the over-stretching” we’re doing to try to service this artificial construct, is going to end up hurting us as a society.
We can have a kind of equality and respect that means celebrating each person’s strengths and helping to carry their weaknesses. But the various and very vocal sex-and-gender agendas at work have little interest in this.
They are more into power-struggles one over the other.
i would not raise a child gender neutral. i think at a very early point it would not be up to me. i suppose it is the ultimate freedom to allow a child to grow into whatever gender they aim for, but i think that is going to happen anyway, under the right open caring environment. parents, caregivers, etc… we are the first line of decision making. from the minute i decided to quit drinking booze but not coffee i was choosing something for the babe within. im babbling. i guess we do our best, but i wouldnt use my child in that way. i think that would be too much about my own choices and not theirs.
as for gender roles and tasks, i like to look at things as who is able to do what? why should certain tasks fall to certain people because of gender? i think either what we are good at or what is needed in the moment. cooking is my favourite gender bender example. in ye old days, women were cooks men were chefs. now some of my favourite people are women chefs.
the ideas about gender that i have, i grew in to. based on how life happened, what is/was necessary. my mum worked, my dad stayed home and drank home brew. so there was a reversal from the get go. we kids learned how to cook/fend for ourselves when needed. it wasnt about Thats the Girls Job it was a trade off, if you make the food ill clean up the dog crap. (and let me tell you, my brother would choose making grilled cheese over cleaning up after the dogs any day :D). my son has never heard me say Take out the garbage thats a boys job, but he has heard me say, can you take out the garbage while i check on the chicken. i think it is more about keeping a boat afloat based on skill sets and sharing responsibility. so i guess i formed my gender ideas from life and work experience. luckily its all so fluid that what makes sense in one home doesnt have to in another. too bad we cant worry more about our own homes
I know what society thinks the norms are for each gender, but I have never followed them; and neither did my parents. I know my mom wanted to, but she was more successful in bringing home the dough than my dad; and my dad was content with taking us to our sporting events, doing laundry and cooking. Neither of my parents were good at working on cars, or taking care of a yard. They both were good at socializing, dancing and singing.
Being part of a same-sex couple gives us the freedom to do the tasks in the house we are both good at and enjoy doing. We take turns on the tasks we both can do, but both can’t stand doing; like cleaning the bathroom. We both love to cook. I am best in the garden, and my partner is best at mechanical stuff; so, you know who oversees those things. I had sociable parents, and my partner didn’t; so guess who plans all the vacations and parties? That would be me, and I enjoy doing it.
An ideal world would be like this: All genders would learn to cook, clean, garden and work on cars (mechanical things), take care of the money etc.
I just hung out with my 4 year old grand nephew. He asked to help me in the kitchen. It would have been easier to not have him in the kitchen, but I couldn’t say no as this is a great learning experience for a little boy.
Less and less people are getting married, so I think it’s highly important for both sexes to know how to survive in the world, without having to depend on the other gender to take care of them.
All of my children are grown to adulthood, with clearly defined gender roles. Whatever they decide to do with that upbringing is their business, and I shall support them and continue to love them regardless of their personal choices.
I have no interest in fathering any more off spring anytime soon. I think the idea of gender neutrality is a mistake that will come back to bite mankind on the ass, at a biological procreation continuation of the species level.
I raised my sons to be “boys”. I bought trucks and hot wheels cars with tracks all over the room. I bought them dirt bikes and dirt bike motorcycles to ride in the deserts. I did all I could to guide them towards masculine directions. In spite of my guidance, boy #1 was only interested in building things with the Lego blocks and erector sets. He built things that did things. Robotics was his passion. When placed on a Moto-cross bike with other boys tearing up the bike hills kicking up dirt, son #1 just took a slow tour of the course, slowly up each hill and slowly down the other side. When I was counseled to allow him to do what he wants to do with the bike, he turned it upside down and used the sprockets and pedals to power a windmill that he built. —– So, I bought him a Moto-cross motorcycle for the desert. While the other boys were kicking up hills and jumping on ramps, my son found the main road and drove the bike to Palm Springs and back to the desert bike trails. Had we known he was on the highway with the motorcycle, without a license or license plate, I would have taken the bike away from him. I watched him take the desert hills and ramps slowly up, and slowly down the other side. He finally addressed me and said, “Look. I am doing this because you said to ride the bike on the trails. I don’t want to race around. I don’t want to do this at all. I am doing it because you told me to, but you can’t force me to go fast.” —– So, I signed him up for soccer. He walked the field and the other team players kept shouting out his last name, but not in a good way. When I asked him why he wasn’t playing the game, he said, “I am out here because you want me out here, but you can’t make me run, or play the game.” I gave up on him. From then on, I allowed him to pick out his toys and he picked pulley ropes, little motors, engines, and all sorts of metal parts to build things that do things. As a teenager, he excelled through high school faster than the other boys. He ditched when he could because school bored him. He decided to run away from home. Did he run away from home like other kids —- only to return later??? No. He ran away and went to Hong Kong. Once he got to Hong Kong, he got a job sweeping floors at a hospital and paid his way through school and college to become a gay Chinese guy that looked like a white Dutch guy. He speaks Chinese and came back to the Untied States as a man. He is a nurse at a Children’s Hospital and makes robotics that allow crippled children to do the things their crippled bodies won’t do. He is gay, but hides it because he works with children. He does not want to be found out as gay and lose his job.
Son #2 was given the same masculine toys and spent his play time in the kitchen — not playing with anything I bought. The moto-cross bike sat un-rode, and he cleaned it a lot. When I insisted that he ride the bike trails, he WALKED the bike on the trails. He did the same thing with the motorcycle dirt bikes. He walked the bike, peed his pants and cried that I was mean to him. When I signed him up for soccer, He stood on the field and peed his soccer shorts and cried that he didn’t want to play that game. At home, he took his Tonka Trucks down the street to a house where girls wanted to play in the dirt with the trucks —– and in turn, they let my son play with the doll house and dolls. And then came the day that I lifted his mattress and found a picture of a man’s penis. (!!!!) I carefully put it back where I found it and said nothing. I watched my son very carefully to see WHO was in my son’s life. I wanted to catch the man who took the Polaroid picture, but I never found anyone. In high school, my gay son was obsessed with Boy George and putting on make-up. I gave up. He is a boy who wants to be female. Now he is a man who wants to be female, collect doll houses and tiny doll house furniture and live in a pretend world of playing with silly toys. I tried to help him once, but he moved into my house and decided to be boss of the house and tell me what to do. When I told him that I own my house and he will not be telling me what to do, he ran away!!! I did a dance and went to Disneyland. My 45 year old son ran away!!! I have not talked to him since then.
No matter what you do to raise your child, the child is going to be who the child wants to be and there is nothing you can do about it. I made peace with the fact that both of my sons are gay. They live their own lives. The best part is that they live far away from me and never visit anymore. I’m really happy with that.
Just basic stuff, like childbirth (things the bodies do for specific genders.) I mean, first thoughts in my mind say things like makeup, dresses, ties, and things like that, but I know that those don’t matter at all. I mean, dresses are for females because we say, but people wear kilts or wear other attire that could be classified as a dress but was normal for guys to wear. Guys in front of cameras wear makeup, but no one ever says anything about that. We classify things as male and female like that just because we could. There is never a good reason for it. It just is because enough people say so. It’s dumb overall. I get falling into it and even kind of feeling it a certain way, especially since society does affect us like that, but I just think that it is totally unneeded.
@yin
@ladybarbara
Walk kilt-ly and carry a big stick?
@griz Hahahahahahahahahahahahah!!! That’s a good one!!!
To me, gender is what is naturally, physically manifest.
The mindsets that such natural physical manifestations can and do tend to develop, are then addendum on top of this; and can run the full spectrum from masculine to feminine.
But there to me, is a beauty in what is naturally, physically manifest. Some of Humanity’s artificial adaptations on top of this have produced benefits; but also a lot of detriment — often evident only farther down the road; paid for by future generations.
I would never dream of raising a child gender neutral. I see this as a form of unnecessary stress to service a socio-political agenda: perhaps even an abuse at the extreme.
I once saw a documentary where this “agenda” took a body of children who’s parents had agreed to guinea-pig them into a gender neutral upbringing and was shocked and embarrassed when boys and girls flocked to gender-specific toys they had never been exposed to. They tried to re-bias the experiment back to their desired agenda by blatantly confusing the gender-appeal of the various toys . . . and the children all milled about in a corner confused, not playing with any of the munged toys.
Women give birth and breast-feed, men make women pregnant. Other than that, nothing much different in their roles except whatever has to do with the first years of an infant.
I don’t get why so many folks are against raising children gender-neutral. My parents did, and I think it’s one of the best things they did for me. I had the sickest collection of toy cars in my class – I asked my Mom to buy them, she didn’t force them on me. But I also played with the cars as “here’s Mrs. Smith driving to the grocery store” (very much playing “house”). I also had My Little Ponies. That some boys gave me :) I remember my little neighbor boy showing off his particularly gorgeous My Little Pony with glossy pink wavy mane that he was proud of. I also played house with boys – I mean, come on, SOMEBODY had to be the father/husband. (I was the dog). This was in Romania, where boys and girls played together. We were also mostly very poor and didn’t have many toys, so we played with each other more than with toys, which bridged the gender role gap.
I loved hiking and biking and playing soccer. My brother loved cooking – and he’s good at it! He’s married now with a kid. We both drew comics, out of our own initiative. My brother’s stories were more “boyish” than mine. My brother played the guitar, I played the recorder. We practiced together.
20 years later, I’m a female scientist that has absolutely zero concept of “I’m not supposed to do that”, which kind of boosts my self confidence. I do whatever I want, not whatever “girls are supposed to want”.
I’m not gay. I’m not transgender. I don’t wear make-up and I make sure people see me as a person and not as a sex object. So I don’t get the backfire that people talk about here.
When I have kids, I will raise them the same way, since it was a success for my brother and me.