Not necessarily a list, because if you find those traits in one person, you will also fid them deficient in something else. There is also the matter of how people change and grow over time. If one person in the partnership has a greater rate of change than the other, they may find themselves no longer being attracted. I will tell you some traits that I like, though, and seem to not fade over time. Intelligence to be sure, but there are different types of intelligence. I like them when they are very smart in different ways, like emotionally intelligent, in touch with their feelings and all of that. I like depth, too. I would like for them to be able and want to talk with me about many different things, and it not to feel like a chore for them to talk to me. I like humor. I don’t know that I tell the best jokes, but I am good at listening to jokes and laughing a lot. Those are the two main ones. I would also want them to meet my needs. I have gotten very good at communicating my needs and I would hope they would want to meet my needs. Be willing to dance with me because I like waltzing, and I need a willing partner. I need them to be able to see the beauty in life, and point it out to me, if ever I don’t see. I would also want them to be working on themselves, always working. We are a process, a multi-faceted process, and I would want them to recognize the different sides to themselves and how to work on it. Affectionate tops the list, as well. Height and weight are of not much consequence, unless they don’t care for themselves at all.
Get along with me, or you can just keep on going. The best person to be with is one who doesn’t bring stress to your life. If a person is going to criticize and argue, then they won’t be invited to be around me. My chosen mate and best friend is a person who gets along with me 24/7. That would be Immortal Pirate.
I’d be interested to see what is on peoples list? Yea, yea – good guy, sensitive, good with kids, etc. But what REALLY do you want? Money? Stability? I’m sure money helps with looks. Don’t lie, it’s the truth. So many people can look past the ugly or fat when loads of cash is in abundance.
I met my wife when we were young so there were no thoughts of whether this person had the haves or the mustn’t haves, we just knew.
OK – so I read this again and immediately thought “How do you determine the best person to be with [at this particular moment, whether they are good for you or not]”
My mind went to ‘how can you use this person to the best of your ability to get what you want’ – instead of best person = spouse/significant other
I think it’s a bit of a trial and error when determining our people. The best people in our lives aren’t only limited to our spouses. Friends and acquaintances go through a trial and error process too.
I think our hearts have little to do with this. As unromantic as it sounds I think compatibility and chemistry is the deciding factor when we determine whose shit we’re willing to put up with and whose we are not.
No checklists. I basically go by attraction. I’m only about short term at the moment, so the reasons are all shallow. haha. As how friends go, I determine by common interests.
9 responses to “how do you determine the best person to be with?”
I honestly don’t know. I go more the route of “it isn’t going to work out anyway so why bother” nowadays.
Not necessarily a list, because if you find those traits in one person, you will also fid them deficient in something else. There is also the matter of how people change and grow over time. If one person in the partnership has a greater rate of change than the other, they may find themselves no longer being attracted. I will tell you some traits that I like, though, and seem to not fade over time. Intelligence to be sure, but there are different types of intelligence. I like them when they are very smart in different ways, like emotionally intelligent, in touch with their feelings and all of that. I like depth, too. I would like for them to be able and want to talk with me about many different things, and it not to feel like a chore for them to talk to me. I like humor. I don’t know that I tell the best jokes, but I am good at listening to jokes and laughing a lot. Those are the two main ones. I would also want them to meet my needs. I have gotten very good at communicating my needs and I would hope they would want to meet my needs. Be willing to dance with me because I like waltzing, and I need a willing partner. I need them to be able to see the beauty in life, and point it out to me, if ever I don’t see. I would also want them to be working on themselves, always working. We are a process, a multi-faceted process, and I would want them to recognize the different sides to themselves and how to work on it. Affectionate tops the list, as well. Height and weight are of not much consequence, unless they don’t care for themselves at all.
I believe you don’t determine it, it finds you.
Get along with me, or you can just keep on going. The best person to be with is one who doesn’t bring stress to your life. If a person is going to criticize and argue, then they won’t be invited to be around me. My chosen mate and best friend is a person who gets along with me 24/7. That would be Immortal Pirate.
I’d be interested to see what is on peoples list? Yea, yea – good guy, sensitive, good with kids, etc. But what REALLY do you want? Money? Stability? I’m sure money helps with looks. Don’t lie, it’s the truth. So many people can look past the ugly or fat when loads of cash is in abundance.
I met my wife when we were young so there were no thoughts of whether this person had the haves or the mustn’t haves, we just knew.
OK – so I read this again and immediately thought “How do you determine the best person to be with [at this particular moment, whether they are good for you or not]”
My mind went to ‘how can you use this person to the best of your ability to get what you want’ – instead of best person = spouse/significant other
anyone else or is it just me and my THC?
I think it’s a bit of a trial and error when determining our people. The best people in our lives aren’t only limited to our spouses. Friends and acquaintances go through a trial and error process too.
I think our hearts have little to do with this. As unromantic as it sounds I think compatibility and chemistry is the deciding factor when we determine whose shit we’re willing to put up with and whose we are not.
No checklists. I basically go by attraction. I’m only about short term at the moment, so the reasons are all shallow. haha. As how friends go, I determine by common interests.
T H I M B L E-N I P P L E S