@griz Not necessarily. My boss/ friend keeps going back to his wife who’s abandoned him MANY MANY times. She wants to control him and he wants to control her. She’s recently claimed all she wants is financial stability… yet if this is the case she can do so herself… she’s a waitress and averages $1000 weekly. She wants HER money to sent to Mexico and HIS money besides, and have them live in the slums.
To me SHE is a wrong that needs to be discarded like yesterday’s garbage.
@Jear77
It could be that both sides have a lot of wrongs going on masquerading as rights!
Consider also that if one has a lot of this happening personally without seeing it, they probably will be unable to discern it on a broader Society level.
@griz be that as it may, I think control, watching the spouse jealously is a major problem — maybe the root of everything between them. If you can’t trust your husband /wife you should have never married them to begin with!
Watching a spouse jealously indicates an issue that needs work.
Behaving in a way that makes one’s spouse think they need to be guarded jealously could also be an issue.
In both cases, consideration for the other needs to be worked on. I know of one fellow who started feeling a sexual attraction to a lady at work and before it went too far, openly admitted it to his wife and apologized. He had given himself very real incentive to reserve himself just for his wife; and she gained an affirmation of his love and faithfulness to just her. The relationship grew stronger from it.
@griz the problem is that he’s sexually attracted to EVERY pretty girl… AND fully admits it. He’s been faithful to her when she’s been there.. but he doesn’t feel the need to do so after she leaves (which is really understandable if he doesn’t know for sure if she’ll be back this time or not…)
@Jear77
The path I bear witness to is where one is neither slave nor victim to their feelings.
I’ve often said that our first enslavement and addiction is to Foolish Pride. But take this just a bit further and you have slave-hood and addiction to our feelings.
Our flesh.
And this actively opposes the evolution into more Spiritual Beings that needs to happen if our species is to survive and thrive. The course we are on now, is spiraling down.
Consider how many World and personal problems would be resolved if emotions and feelings were not our task-masters.
@griz Familiar with the German work Faust? The titular character makes a deal with the literal devil to sell his soul. When the devil comes to collect his prize the body is torn asunder and there’s nothing left… except a bloody mess.
Unfortunately, in this day and age, should such a scene occur, it would be likely viewed as something for the guys as CSI to solve and not taken seriously…
And even if it WERE determined an other-worldly being committed the act, could it be FURTHER determined that it was such a being as described as pure evil as described in the pages of the bible!
@Jear77
It sounds like he thought he could use things greater than himself, for his own advantage and pleasure. Consider the tie-in here to deistic religion. Even unto the allegorical “bloody mess” they can leave one’s soul in. (sort of the opposite scenario of Faust).
Consider too, that the theme of “the enemy of Life” housed in some sort of “trickster” is found in cultures that had no exposure to the Bible.
I try to allow “Life” to include ALL possible aspects of it; not limiting it just to what we currently feel we have “a handle attached to”. I try to remember . . . that blinders, “blind”.
Wrong for me seems to be sugar, but cutting out sugar puts me into a shock. I get low blood sugar, dizzy, and the world closes in to a black dot before I pass out. So, I have to watch to not deplete my blood sugar, but not to get too much. It is a balance on a hypoglycemic tightrope.
@griz In all “12 step” self-help programs identification of the problem is the FIRST step. And it’s the MOST IMPORTANT step, from which the other 11 flow.
@griz Oftentimes it’s equally important to note the pain, working on the cause later. There’s a joke:
Man goes to doctor, raises arm and says “Doctor, it hurts when I do this.”
Doctor “Well then, don’t do that!”
Similarly, if you can’t even identify the source of the pain, how can you attempt to figure out what to do or NOT to do to fix it? If you’re sore, you might have picked up some weights wrong, have a virus, over-did exercises, etc.
I remember growing up I was watching my parents on an escalator, it was going up, and I was facing down (I jumped the gun and was impatient). When i swung my leg back to face the right way, it hit the step. In doing so i cut the nerve. Suddenly, I felt y leg go wet. Wet? Why am I feeling wet? When I lifted my pants leg, I said “oh blood.” Let’s say I didn’t feel the wetness of the blood… I would have continued to bleed out.
What the hell?!?!?!? The subject is about denying cravings, and you two put thoughts of mashed potatoes, & biscuits all smothered in gravy in my hat holder?!?!?!?
@luftballooneyegouge i put no such thoughts of garlic mashed potatoes with thick, sausage gravy, homemade biscuits with lots of butter, anywhere near you.
38 responses to “how do you stop wanting/ needing the wrong things in your life?”
This is the core reason why I chose the spiritual path that I did.
And my successes along that path are the reason why I continue to bear witness for it.
Please define “wrong” for purposes of this discussion.
@zuul that which eventually will do us harm, no matter how we try to avoid the cost.
@zuul
As in, ” a wrong is just a right you haven’t found justification for yet”!?
@griz Not necessarily. My boss/ friend keeps going back to his wife who’s abandoned him MANY MANY times. She wants to control him and he wants to control her. She’s recently claimed all she wants is financial stability… yet if this is the case she can do so herself… she’s a waitress and averages $1000 weekly. She wants HER money to sent to Mexico and HIS money besides, and have them live in the slums.
To me SHE is a wrong that needs to be discarded like yesterday’s garbage.
@Jear77
It could be that both sides have a lot of wrongs going on masquerading as rights!
Consider also that if one has a lot of this happening personally without seeing it, they probably will be unable to discern it on a broader Society level.
@griz be that as it may, I think control, watching the spouse jealously is a major problem — maybe the root of everything between them. If you can’t trust your husband /wife you should have never married them to begin with!
@Jear77
Here’s a thought.
Watching a spouse jealously indicates an issue that needs work.
Behaving in a way that makes one’s spouse think they need to be guarded jealously could also be an issue.
In both cases, consideration for the other needs to be worked on. I know of one fellow who started feeling a sexual attraction to a lady at work and before it went too far, openly admitted it to his wife and apologized. He had given himself very real incentive to reserve himself just for his wife; and she gained an affirmation of his love and faithfulness to just her. The relationship grew stronger from it.
@griz the problem is that he’s sexually attracted to EVERY pretty girl… AND fully admits it. He’s been faithful to her when she’s been there.. but he doesn’t feel the need to do so after she leaves (which is really understandable if he doesn’t know for sure if she’ll be back this time or not…)
@Jear77
The path I bear witness to is where one is neither slave nor victim to their feelings.
I’ve often said that our first enslavement and addiction is to Foolish Pride. But take this just a bit further and you have slave-hood and addiction to our feelings.
Our flesh.
And this actively opposes the evolution into more Spiritual Beings that needs to happen if our species is to survive and thrive. The course we are on now, is spiraling down.
Consider how many World and personal problems would be resolved if emotions and feelings were not our task-masters.
@griz Familiar with the German work Faust? The titular character makes a deal with the literal devil to sell his soul. When the devil comes to collect his prize the body is torn asunder and there’s nothing left… except a bloody mess.
Unfortunately, in this day and age, should such a scene occur, it would be likely viewed as something for the guys as CSI to solve and not taken seriously…
And even if it WERE determined an other-worldly being committed the act, could it be FURTHER determined that it was such a being as described as pure evil as described in the pages of the bible!
@Jear77
It sounds like he thought he could use things greater than himself, for his own advantage and pleasure. Consider the tie-in here to deistic religion. Even unto the allegorical “bloody mess” they can leave one’s soul in. (sort of the opposite scenario of Faust).
Consider too, that the theme of “the enemy of Life” housed in some sort of “trickster” is found in cultures that had no exposure to the Bible.
I try to allow “Life” to include ALL possible aspects of it; not limiting it just to what we currently feel we have “a handle attached to”. I try to remember . . . that blinders, “blind”.
Wrong for me seems to be sugar, but cutting out sugar puts me into a shock. I get low blood sugar, dizzy, and the world closes in to a black dot before I pass out. So, I have to watch to not deplete my blood sugar, but not to get too much. It is a balance on a hypoglycemic tightrope.
The easiest way to stop wanting something bad, is to want something good more….
First you figure out what those are. If you can do that, the rest is gravy.
@Fletch
That is just identifying the reaction.
Even after one correctly identifies what is causing the reaction the gravy still isn’t ready to pour.
@griz In all “12 step” self-help programs identification of the problem is the FIRST step. And it’s the MOST IMPORTANT step, from which the other 11 flow.
@Jear77
Is the problem the sniffles aches and pains; or the influenza infection causing them?
@griz Oftentimes it’s equally important to note the pain, working on the cause later. There’s a joke:
Man goes to doctor, raises arm and says “Doctor, it hurts when I do this.”
Doctor “Well then, don’t do that!”
Similarly, if you can’t even identify the source of the pain, how can you attempt to figure out what to do or NOT to do to fix it? If you’re sore, you might have picked up some weights wrong, have a virus, over-did exercises, etc.
I remember growing up I was watching my parents on an escalator, it was going up, and I was facing down (I jumped the gun and was impatient). When i swung my leg back to face the right way, it hit the step. In doing so i cut the nerve. Suddenly, I felt y leg go wet. Wet? Why am I feeling wet? When I lifted my pants leg, I said “oh blood.” Let’s say I didn’t feel the wetness of the blood… I would have continued to bleed out.
@Jear77
I would simply point out the fact that God has already told us the cause of much of our psycho-spititual pain; and provided remedy.
And after knowing this in one’s life, some physical pain seems worth the price of participation in this great gift called life.
(And I say this as someone who grew up in close association with someone who lived with constant pain.)
@griz I didn’t say it was. Identification is key, IMO. One step at a time.
@Fletch
Sorry; I thought I smelled gravy pouring!
Yes, we need to take things one step at a time. I was only cautioning that sometimes we think the first step brings us to destination.
When there are perhaps many more steps to be taken to fully identify the core issue; and not just a symptom.
Identifying in treating a cough, is not the same as treating the cold.
@Fletch @griz
What the hell?!?!?!? The subject is about denying cravings, and you two put thoughts of mashed potatoes, & biscuits all smothered in gravy in my hat holder?!?!?!?
I’m offended.
@luftballooneyegouge i put no such thoughts of garlic mashed potatoes with thick, sausage gravy, homemade biscuits with lots of butter, anywhere near you.
@Fletch
Sausage Gravy
Oh the Horror
Now
I Know
the rest
of the Story-orror
@luftballooneyegouge ok – fat free sausage gravy? does that work for you?
@Fletch “fat free sausage gravy” is an oxymoron!
@Jear77 a DELICIOUS DELICIOUS Oxymoron!
@Fletch
Organic Dolphin-Free Free-Range Fat-Free Free-Trade Gluten-Free Vegan Sausage would be best.
https://content.oppictures.com/Master_Images/Master_Variants/Variant_500/81592.JPG
@luftballooneyegouge
sorry, you lost me at dolphin-free. I prefer background notes of free-range dolphin in my sausage gravy.
@Fletch
…..dammit and I left off ‘locally-sourced’ too.
@luftballooneyegouge there’s something wrong with those change holders…. I can’t quite put my finger on it.
@Jear77
Now that you mention it those Organic Dolphin-Free Free-Range Fat-Free Free-Trade Gluten-Free Vegan Sausages do look like change rolls.
@Fletch
I would not choose to be offended if you were to pass them to me please!
Afterwards we could go and sit on the dock and burn those excess calories by fending off mosquitoes the size of chicken hawks!
@luftballooneyegouge
Oh, gee gosh & golly!
Could I make amends by having you over for some of my mom’s homemade taters gravy and biscuits?
But wait! That might offend your waistline!
@griz I’m offended they might be offended at me being…… oh fuck it. nevermind….
@Fletch
I’m offended that you don’t want to bother being offended with me anymore!
@griz
Potato gravy indeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaeeeed….