So-so. I’m witty enough I I usually keep a yak going. Talking about the weather is a bit of a non-starter as I usually have more of the next day or so weather analyzed out for my job — particularly in the winter. And most people talking weather really don’t want to talk that level of weather. It’s usually just a front for America’s Favorite Pastime — complaining!
It’s probably not a surprise to find I do better at deep talk.
And one finds a surprising number of people who are both willing and able to engage.
I’m not great at small talk. I am an active listener. I listen and think. If there is a problem, I’m thinking of solutions. Talking about the weather is what most neighbors do and I know that my talking will lead to saying that there is a planet out there that has come around the sun and is heading this way —- towards the path of Earth’s orbit. It is magnetically pulling on the Earth and causing all this bad weather. That makes people step back and stop conversing with me. Soooooo, I stay silent. A friend once pointed out a twinkle of blue in the night, “What is that?”, she asked. “It is the Blue Kachina”, I answered. She is a Native American, so I thought she would know about the Blue Kachina, harbinger of change. She didn’t. She stepped back and went into her house. End of conversation. —- Yeah, so I stay silent and just listen to the other person speak. I comment just enough to let them know that I understand the subject.
Immortal Pirate is the conversationalist and I am his prop girl. He was speaking to a Fed Ex delivery guy about guitars. I was the runner who fetched a few of Immortal Pirate’s guitars to show off. I don’t join in. I’m just a bad version of Vanna White — pointing to the props as Immortal P carries on his talk. The two guitar enthusiasts did a good job on their own without my input.
I usually can hold my own in a conversation on most subjects with a variety of participants.
The Fed-Ex driver was a fill-in driver, wearing a purple Santa Claus hat…”Nice hat”, I said, and he replied, “nice truck”, referring to my Toyota Tacoma, he then stated, “I have one just like it”…The conversation about cigar box guitars evolved rather spontaneously, as I had inquired if FedEx had a chart describing box sizes and weights and cost to ship items. They don’t. The driver asked what I would be shipping, I replied, “cigar box guitars”. He then said something about a mutual guitar builder we were both familiar with and the conversation bloomed from there. Lady Barbara did an excellent job as my runner, fetching a couple of my instruments to show the FedEx driver, who also builds cbg’s. We plan to meet up again some time in the near future to continue our conversation about the wonderful art of building Cigar Box Guitars.
4 responses to “How good are you at small-talk”
So-so. I’m witty enough I I usually keep a yak going. Talking about the weather is a bit of a non-starter as I usually have more of the next day or so weather analyzed out for my job — particularly in the winter. And most people talking weather really don’t want to talk that level of weather. It’s usually just a front for America’s Favorite Pastime — complaining!
It’s probably not a surprise to find I do better at deep talk.
And one finds a surprising number of people who are both willing and able to engage.
I’m not great at small talk. I am an active listener. I listen and think. If there is a problem, I’m thinking of solutions. Talking about the weather is what most neighbors do and I know that my talking will lead to saying that there is a planet out there that has come around the sun and is heading this way —- towards the path of Earth’s orbit. It is magnetically pulling on the Earth and causing all this bad weather. That makes people step back and stop conversing with me. Soooooo, I stay silent. A friend once pointed out a twinkle of blue in the night, “What is that?”, she asked. “It is the Blue Kachina”, I answered. She is a Native American, so I thought she would know about the Blue Kachina, harbinger of change. She didn’t. She stepped back and went into her house. End of conversation. —- Yeah, so I stay silent and just listen to the other person speak. I comment just enough to let them know that I understand the subject.
Immortal Pirate is the conversationalist and I am his prop girl. He was speaking to a Fed Ex delivery guy about guitars. I was the runner who fetched a few of Immortal Pirate’s guitars to show off. I don’t join in. I’m just a bad version of Vanna White — pointing to the props as Immortal P carries on his talk. The two guitar enthusiasts did a good job on their own without my input.
I usually can hold my own in a conversation on most subjects with a variety of participants.
The Fed-Ex driver was a fill-in driver, wearing a purple Santa Claus hat…”Nice hat”, I said, and he replied, “nice truck”, referring to my Toyota Tacoma, he then stated, “I have one just like it”…The conversation about cigar box guitars evolved rather spontaneously, as I had inquired if FedEx had a chart describing box sizes and weights and cost to ship items. They don’t. The driver asked what I would be shipping, I replied, “cigar box guitars”. He then said something about a mutual guitar builder we were both familiar with and the conversation bloomed from there. Lady Barbara did an excellent job as my runner, fetching a couple of my instruments to show the FedEx driver, who also builds cbg’s. We plan to meet up again some time in the near future to continue our conversation about the wonderful art of building Cigar Box Guitars.
I am like a sociopath with small talk. I have learned to be good at faking it, as they learn to be good at faking empathy.
With my friends, they seamlessly work in deep stuff into the mundane, so that keeps me engaged.
Basically via code.
Or, other friends, no small talk.
Otherwise, try and build bridges via the little things.
For instance, finding greater meaning in bad movies. Or video games.
A good martial artist might learn to use anything, as a weapon principle.