I would have to say it’s been a blessing for me. It’s caused me to grow the hell up and realize that reality, society, God, Life . . . aren’t there to cater to me.
Each of them is FAR more long-lived than I, and operate according to a set of principles that are not going to change just because amazing special me arrived on the scene.
All of these things can have an unkind or unfair aspect to their nature if we buck them — or sometimes even if we don’t. But all of them also seem to have set aside a series of joys and rewards for those that “participate” with them in good faith, rather than try to “control” them unto doing what the ego-centric person wants.
They are the ones that became the entitlement culture; which becomes the victimhood culture when those expected entitlements are not met; which becomes the safety culture who is looking for “the State” (authority, public opinion) to come to “award” them and punish those who make them feel “unsafe” because they have not kowtowed to their delusions of entitlement.
Now we’ve come by this sort of naturally. Starting in the 80’s and progressing into the 90’s there were moderate crime waves; and the arrival of commonly-available cable TV, movies of the “hell-child” genre, and a series of satanic childhood daycare scandals (entirely unsubstantiated, but for which people served jail time). This gave rise to the fearful helicopter-parent phenomenon where parents were simultaneously afraid for and afraid of their children (even unto being afraid of them being “unhappy”?). Children were never allowed unsupervised play time where eons of children learned to toughen up and prepare for the realities of Life, work, society, participation.
Children denied this, for a variety of good and bad reasons, now fall to pieces and spiral into either nihilism, victimhood agendas destined to spin into totalitarianism if allowed to run their course . . . and terrible/terrorists acts against . . . everyone and everything.
We can turn this around.
But first we need to open our eyes, set down our victimhood placards, dis-empower the various political identity groups, stop expecting “everyone else” to cater to our expectations, and take responsibility for ourselves unto finding sufficient meaning in life to off-set the existential “horrors” of it.
(Horrors, like our expectations not being met! Or someone somehow “invalidating your existence” . . . with a differing opinion, a label or now even a pronoun.)
@griz participation isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Trying to participate at work only gets me more tired. Participating in life leaves me little time to myself. Participating with friends has me not wanting any friends because they take time to spend with, time i don’t really have. So if the only thing i get is negativity.. of what use is said participation?
@Jear77
Our entire evolutionary process is based on social participation. That is a Darwinistic fact.
The various philosophical, religious and wisdom-traditions of our species have a common thread of life going “the best” when we seek to participate with “what exists” . . . and of it spinning off self-destructively when we rail at participation with the existential realities (including the horrors) of self-conscious moral agency.
Like you, I tend towards introversion. My base tendency is to take care of social, financial (and moral?) obligations and then want to spend time in the company of myself.
But through my various journeys (religious, shamanic, spiritual, social, educational) I’ve found that participation doesn’t have to be the net drain I once thought it was.
The caution here, is that I had to go through some chapters of my life that moved me far outside of my comfort zones into the chaos, where I essentially died to parts of myself and was re-born phoenix-like into a more enduring form. (This also ties into the “born-again” motif).
An observation for you, is that if participation is seeming like nothing more than a net drain, you may need a radical shake-up in your life (a heroic journey away from the known comfort-zone) sufficient enough that you will have to be reborn from the ashes.
We are bio-evolutionarily keyed not just to participate, but to be “fueled” by participation. If we are not, we need to find ways to work on this aspect of our existence — if we want something different than just the endless cycle we are currently stuck in.
Which doesn’t mean that finding a quiet alone-time won’t still appeal to us as the easiest form of re-creation: but that we will find ways to also re-create in the company of others.
Even with the downfalls of callow religion, it does still excel in giving an arena for this to happen: giving one somewhere to go other than just to an empty apartment, a co-dependent or even toxic room-mate . . . into deepening isolation.
If the current path isn’t opening up all the wonders and possibilities of Life . . . it’s time to try another path!
@griz The museum forces me to introduce myself (if not by name, by at least presence) to patrons. If they’re observant they’ll see my name tag and repeat it back to me. Guarding artwork worth millions (actually billions) of dollars… when one is getting minimum wage is… draining. Though it has taught me much about art. And I’m getting ideas for my own projects. But soon is the time I can say goodbye to it (at least for all but 2 days) once A) this guy gets the restaurant and can start paying me in cash or B) I get a better paying job. I reworked my resume, submitted it and got some reviews on it, which said it needed to be redone AGAIN. But I need the time/ energy to actually do so. It’ll be at least a few days before I can fully edit it again. Resumes nowadays are all about your accomplishments (Problem / Situation. Action, Result), not about job duties (though some companies still want the latter)
@Jear77
That seems poorly thought-out. Duties and how you performed them can be corroborated by a supervisor.
How you responded to problem on-the-fly is often not. In most jobs I’ve had the ones solved successfully often never came to their attention unless someone went out of their way to submit a positive comment.
They would sometimes hear of the negative outcomes! But they’re not the ones an applicant would want to offer up when advertising themselves!
Say you were in a position where you were expected to work autonomously and only the negative outcomes got back to your boss.
And none came to light!
@griz the thing is my “friend” is willing to corroborate (basically) anything I say… within reason! And the way the laws are set up the *only* things that employers can do is verify dates. Anything more about a poorly performing employee risks lawsuits. So either way, my ass is fully covered.
@luftballooneyegouge but i can’t do the following:
A) sit down
B) stay put for too long
C) Go eat or to the bathroom when i want to
D) ignore the customers’ stupid questions and tell them to go fuck themselves
E) use my phone.
So for me it’s not a good time.
@Jear77
….and people think that’s Not being governed because it lacks that label.
Capitalism is an umbrella-entity over countless micro-socialist-authoritarian collectives where fortunately banishment is about the worst penalty other than liability.
You could be a truck-driver and do all those things, on your list, as long as you don’t mind the latter of C) being in some sort of disposable beverage container.
I think @griz could get a trainer’s bonus, and you’d be making way more than minimum wage.
@luftballooneyegouge ROFLMAO. I can’t drive (I have thick ass glasses… a cataract in one eye… potential glaucoma in the other). There is also the problem of my IBS. Driving isn’t a good profession for someone who has to go to the bathroom NOW… and 30 seconds may mean the difference between messing one’s self and making it to a bathroom!
@griz constraints are understandable, but unreasonable ones are not! Telling people they can’t go to the bathroom when needed is crazy. Let’s say only 1:100 people touch art – WAY less are looking to steal it. True, there’s an average of 5000+ that go through daily (more on Thursdays, because they’re free for Illinois residents during certain hours)… which means there might be 50ish incidents a day… and some of the things touched it doesn’t matter – stone, wood, metal. AND if there are other officers nearby…ask “watch, will ya?” And then go!
@Jear77
The problem here is who gets to decide what is reasonable and unreasonable? The short-term entity who will benefit (the employee), or the long-term entity that stands to suffer the greatest harm (the workplace)?
Rules can be amended and changed if necessary. But research and frame the proposal as one helping them with the shared responsibility of guarding the art; and not just as one being all about you.
Remember also that is not wise to toss down (or toxify) gainful employment over an issue like this unless you have something else concrete already lined up . . . Or you enjoy being unemployed and living at the mercy of others.
@griz i know full well what it’s about. Securitas is the contractor for the Art Institute of Chicago. They simply don’t trust the people from the company they hired. That’s all.
I have gone off post, asking others to watch it, knowing full well i risk my job… but if it’s an emergency, i simply can’t call. I found things to help, but no permanent solution (yet). Going to try probiotics soon. But they are expensive.
18 responses to “Is it a blessing or curse that your expectations aren’t met?”
I would have to say it’s been a blessing for me. It’s caused me to grow the hell up and realize that reality, society, God, Life . . . aren’t there to cater to me.
Each of them is FAR more long-lived than I, and operate according to a set of principles that are not going to change just because amazing special me arrived on the scene.
All of these things can have an unkind or unfair aspect to their nature if we buck them — or sometimes even if we don’t. But all of them also seem to have set aside a series of joys and rewards for those that “participate” with them in good faith, rather than try to “control” them unto doing what the ego-centric person wants.
They are the ones that became the entitlement culture; which becomes the victimhood culture when those expected entitlements are not met; which becomes the safety culture who is looking for “the State” (authority, public opinion) to come to “award” them and punish those who make them feel “unsafe” because they have not kowtowed to their delusions of entitlement.
Now we’ve come by this sort of naturally. Starting in the 80’s and progressing into the 90’s there were moderate crime waves; and the arrival of commonly-available cable TV, movies of the “hell-child” genre, and a series of satanic childhood daycare scandals (entirely unsubstantiated, but for which people served jail time). This gave rise to the fearful helicopter-parent phenomenon where parents were simultaneously afraid for and afraid of their children (even unto being afraid of them being “unhappy”?). Children were never allowed unsupervised play time where eons of children learned to toughen up and prepare for the realities of Life, work, society, participation.
Children denied this, for a variety of good and bad reasons, now fall to pieces and spiral into either nihilism, victimhood agendas destined to spin into totalitarianism if allowed to run their course . . . and terrible/terrorists acts against . . . everyone and everything.
We can turn this around.
But first we need to open our eyes, set down our victimhood placards, dis-empower the various political identity groups, stop expecting “everyone else” to cater to our expectations, and take responsibility for ourselves unto finding sufficient meaning in life to off-set the existential “horrors” of it.
(Horrors, like our expectations not being met! Or someone somehow “invalidating your existence” . . . with a differing opinion, a label or now even a pronoun.)
@griz interesting. I’ll mull this over.
@griz participation isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Trying to participate at work only gets me more tired. Participating in life leaves me little time to myself. Participating with friends has me not wanting any friends because they take time to spend with, time i don’t really have. So if the only thing i get is negativity.. of what use is said participation?
@Jear77
Our entire evolutionary process is based on social participation. That is a Darwinistic fact.
The various philosophical, religious and wisdom-traditions of our species have a common thread of life going “the best” when we seek to participate with “what exists” . . . and of it spinning off self-destructively when we rail at participation with the existential realities (including the horrors) of self-conscious moral agency.
Like you, I tend towards introversion. My base tendency is to take care of social, financial (and moral?) obligations and then want to spend time in the company of myself.
But through my various journeys (religious, shamanic, spiritual, social, educational) I’ve found that participation doesn’t have to be the net drain I once thought it was.
The caution here, is that I had to go through some chapters of my life that moved me far outside of my comfort zones into the chaos, where I essentially died to parts of myself and was re-born phoenix-like into a more enduring form. (This also ties into the “born-again” motif).
An observation for you, is that if participation is seeming like nothing more than a net drain, you may need a radical shake-up in your life (a heroic journey away from the known comfort-zone) sufficient enough that you will have to be reborn from the ashes.
We are bio-evolutionarily keyed not just to participate, but to be “fueled” by participation. If we are not, we need to find ways to work on this aspect of our existence — if we want something different than just the endless cycle we are currently stuck in.
Which doesn’t mean that finding a quiet alone-time won’t still appeal to us as the easiest form of re-creation: but that we will find ways to also re-create in the company of others.
Even with the downfalls of callow religion, it does still excel in giving an arena for this to happen: giving one somewhere to go other than just to an empty apartment, a co-dependent or even toxic room-mate . . . into deepening isolation.
If the current path isn’t opening up all the wonders and possibilities of Life . . . it’s time to try another path!
@griz The museum forces me to introduce myself (if not by name, by at least presence) to patrons. If they’re observant they’ll see my name tag and repeat it back to me. Guarding artwork worth millions (actually billions) of dollars… when one is getting minimum wage is… draining. Though it has taught me much about art. And I’m getting ideas for my own projects. But soon is the time I can say goodbye to it (at least for all but 2 days) once A) this guy gets the restaurant and can start paying me in cash or B) I get a better paying job. I reworked my resume, submitted it and got some reviews on it, which said it needed to be redone AGAIN. But I need the time/ energy to actually do so. It’ll be at least a few days before I can fully edit it again. Resumes nowadays are all about your accomplishments (Problem / Situation. Action, Result), not about job duties (though some companies still want the latter)
@Jear77
That seems poorly thought-out. Duties and how you performed them can be corroborated by a supervisor.
How you responded to problem on-the-fly is often not. In most jobs I’ve had the ones solved successfully often never came to their attention unless someone went out of their way to submit a positive comment.
They would sometimes hear of the negative outcomes! But they’re not the ones an applicant would want to offer up when advertising themselves!
Say you were in a position where you were expected to work autonomously and only the negative outcomes got back to your boss.
And none came to light!
@griz the thing is my “friend” is willing to corroborate (basically) anything I say… within reason! And the way the laws are set up the *only* things that employers can do is verify dates. Anything more about a poorly performing employee risks lawsuits. So either way, my ass is fully covered.
@Jear77
You get paid to hang out at ye arte museum?!?!?!?
That sounds rad except having to be all captain-posture-command-presence.
@luftballooneyegouge but i can’t do the following:
A) sit down
B) stay put for too long
C) Go eat or to the bathroom when i want to
D) ignore the customers’ stupid questions and tell them to go fuck themselves
E) use my phone.
So for me it’s not a good time.
@Jear77
….and people think that’s Not being governed because it lacks that label.
Capitalism is an umbrella-entity over countless micro-socialist-authoritarian collectives where fortunately banishment is about the worst penalty other than liability.
You could be a truck-driver and do all those things, on your list, as long as you don’t mind the latter of C) being in some sort of disposable beverage container.
I think @griz could get a trainer’s bonus, and you’d be making way more than minimum wage.
@luftballooneyegouge ROFLMAO. I can’t drive (I have thick ass glasses… a cataract in one eye… potential glaucoma in the other). There is also the problem of my IBS. Driving isn’t a good profession for someone who has to go to the bathroom NOW… and 30 seconds may mean the difference between messing one’s self and making it to a bathroom!
@Jear77
Goodness Bless You
@Jear77
That’s not an unreasonable set of constraints for a job one is earning wages for.
Hardly anyone can get away with just ignoring stupid questions or telling the customer to go pay hide-and-go-fuck-yourself.
A lot of jobs don’t tolerate using your phone when you’re suppose to be working.
Many put reasonable restrictions on where and when you can chow down.
And my job often means I cannot move when I want to, or drive where I want to.
You will find that most jobs are not “good for me” in ways similar to these. But it’s a job, not a recreational activity!
@griz constraints are understandable, but unreasonable ones are not! Telling people they can’t go to the bathroom when needed is crazy. Let’s say only 1:100 people touch art – WAY less are looking to steal it. True, there’s an average of 5000+ that go through daily (more on Thursdays, because they’re free for Illinois residents during certain hours)… which means there might be 50ish incidents a day… and some of the things touched it doesn’t matter – stone, wood, metal. AND if there are other officers nearby…ask “watch, will ya?” And then go!
@Jear77
The problem here is who gets to decide what is reasonable and unreasonable? The short-term entity who will benefit (the employee), or the long-term entity that stands to suffer the greatest harm (the workplace)?
Rules can be amended and changed if necessary. But research and frame the proposal as one helping them with the shared responsibility of guarding the art; and not just as one being all about you.
Remember also that is not wise to toss down (or toxify) gainful employment over an issue like this unless you have something else concrete already lined up . . . Or you enjoy being unemployed and living at the mercy of others.
@griz i know full well what it’s about. Securitas is the contractor for the Art Institute of Chicago. They simply don’t trust the people from the company they hired. That’s all.
I have gone off post, asking others to watch it, knowing full well i risk my job… but if it’s an emergency, i simply can’t call. I found things to help, but no permanent solution (yet). Going to try probiotics soon. But they are expensive.
@Jear77
Another route maybe to have it medically declared a prostate condition.
Measure the cost of that against a prolonged course of probiotics.
@griz uh… I think you misunderstand ibs.