(Not with pragmatic procreation, but with the feelings-for-self associated with the act).
Has it helped us or hindered us as a society in the long run? (What addiction ever has?)
I think of the clash of cultures when the very strict socializations of European culture met the freer and natural socialization of Native American cultures. The Natives, far freer to engage in casual sex, found the voraciousness of the invading culture for sex disturbing. Is this obsession perhaps moving us into even more “disturbing” territory?
Things have “uses”. When does it move into “abuses”? Into addiction? Into not honoring the spirit of something; just “the feelings” it can bring to us for a brief moment?
Are we a “sex addict” society? Where can you see this trend going?
© 2026 – SoulSequel
16 responses to “Is our society pathologically obsessed with sex and sexuality? Are we addicted?”
no. I don’t hardly think so. just as everything else in life, there is healthy sexuality and unhealthy sexuality. Sure, people can become addicted to anything, and some addictions are more harmful Than others. I would say that to cultivate healthy sexuality, we would need to provide education to people on how to cultivate sexuality in ways that it doesn’t harm others or harm themselves.
Sex, like birth, life, death, eating, sleeping etc. is a natural part of life. We see all of nature having sex.
there is nothing wrong with many of the feelings generated by having sex. what is it you feel? I feel joy in the anticipation of it, I feel every cell alive while I am having sex. I feel closeness and intimacy with another human after sex. sex is one of the best parts of life, in my humble opinion. As to what you say about an obsession, I don’t think so, but I don’t know if anyone has ever done a study on how much time us humans devote to sex versus other endeavors in life.
Education and open communication would help us all to cultivate healthy sex lives.
@Scarlett
My observation is that if we made birth, death, eating, sleeping etc such the all-consuming center of concern as we do sex and sexuality (including “sexual identity”), we would be a lot quicker to recognize that we as a society had an obsession and possibly even an addiction issue
Remember that when looking at addiction, studies look not just at the time spent actively engaging in it, but how it reaches out to control all aspects of the adict’s life. It becomes identity, focus, drive, reason, motivation . . . and also pervasive elephant-sized blind-spot.
i wonder if there has ever been a time since we came out of the caves that we havent as a species been a bit sex obsessed? we are just more out with it now?
porn and partner sharing for instance are not newly invented. but it does seem in this time period that it is all more public now? no more lurking in the backs of weird stores. now you can watch porn on your phone on the city bus. maybe society is completely desensitized. thanks technology :D we have forgotten as a whole that morals are not a bad thing? that we dont have the right to inflict ourselves onto others without consent! when we shame people for speaking out instead of supporting them. thats the problem. but maybe even that isnt new
@BelleMadre
Morals have to do with a strength of spirit. They exist in a different, arguably higher plane then the rest of the animals move in.
It is understandable when they are totally mastered by feelings and urges, even unto doing irrational and self-destructive things.
There seems to be a real trend and drive in modern society to live down to the same standards.
There is a time and a place for sex and sexuality to “take us”: to be drive, focus, identity, motivation.
But is that time, “all of the time”?
(And this can be expanded to all urges and feelings (ie, instincts). Also trending in modern society is the zeal to let these things override the higher aspects of our human nature)
@griz in my current life, sex doesnt really play a role. although i guess sexuality might figure in to some extent. thats ok. thats fine. thats where I am at. but not everyone has to see the world the same. i think nothing should take All of our focus. in balance, yes?
@BelleMadre
This is why I look carefully at any person, movement or social fad that makes sex, sexuality, sex-identity, sex-preference, their prime focus.
They are unbalanced.
@griz i can see that. part of me wants to say maybe those are examples of outlet. of letting that part of themselves play out. maybe its not all day every day. or maybe it is. i dont know. i cant really speak for anyone but myself and im still figuring me out :D im not feeling 100% balanced rt now, and maybe the connection of intimacy is what is missing. but if so, it wouldnt be a trade in for every thing else, if that makes sense. maybe balance on a grander scale. maybe for all the years of a more sexual existence, i am now living the other side of the scale. i dont know. what do i know?
@BelleMadre
My observation and experience has been that there are many times of imbalance in life: and also times of finding new balance.
But I take conscious and cautious note of the social trends that seem to celebrate and glory in imbalance as a “normal state”: and the back and forth over compensations that can resemble the gait of the intoxicated.
(Intoxicated on feelings perhaps?)
Humanity is on the “A” train to hell…
@immortal_pirate
Agreed.
So do we go compliantly along for the ride? (Most do)
Do we say “This is my stop”, to disembark, isolate and disassociate? (Some do)
Or do we try to alter the destination, not just for our sake but for the sake of the race? (Very few do)
I don’t pay attention to other people’s sex lives. I don’t pay attention to movie stars anymore, since most are anti-Trump, so they are ignored by me. I won’t even go to see their movies, let alone know about their sex lives. The people in my life are normal people with average normal sexual relationships. I don’t see anything abnormal around me in my little bubble world.
@ladybarbara
Just remember the nature of bubbles is to break.
With varying elements of disappointment and let-down.
@griz Do you mean that suddenly my bubble breaks — and then what? People come into my living room and start having sex? Movie stars come into my house to have sex? My friends who are normal modest people will come into my living room and display their sex lives on my coffee table??? What do you mean that my bubble will break? I have always lived within my bubble and it moves when I move. If my mate leaves, or dies, my bubble world gets packed up and goes with me. It will break when I die. Even then, I don’t expect to have people having wild sex around my casket. I will still not be interested in anyone elses sex life.
And if I die and Immortal Pirate goes on to find someone else to bring to our bed to have sex, I will cause the Christmas lights on the wall over the bed to short out and shower them with sparks ——- just like the first time he made love to me in that bed and the lights shorted out and showered me with sparks. Then, after that, in my angel after-life bubble, I will wish him only good things and the best in the rest of his life.
@ladybarbara
It was just a general observation on the nature of bubbles.
But an interesting notion that waves of orgies are just waiting to crash in; held at bay by a sturdy bubble!
It depends on the demographic. Some people tend to have their bearings straight, but a lot of people seem to attach their worth on how much they can attract the opposite sex.
I have known of other people’s relationships, even married couples, turning… icky, because of too much sexuality, like “lack of satisfaction” because the other doesn’t play up to their fantasies, or adultery, or pornography (which benefits absolutely no one, imo). All of these boil down to selfish, physical, transient pleasures.
Humans, like all other critters, don’t have sex because it feels good, we do it to reproduce. Most deviations from that purpose leads to abuse of the function, using it for the wrong thing (e.g. manipulation) as well as attaching one’s identity to sexuality. But I think that if people were to step away from that, a lot more progress could be accomplished in different aspects of society, like promoting equality of men and women, which is hard when women are considered (or women consider themselves) as sex objects.
@georockstar09
I quite agree.
Deep down we are just “critters”; but also more on top of that.
But that “more” breaks down when we go from our base feelings and urges as pragmatic tools to be used, to using them as “playthings”. Such use, turns easily to abuse of them; to play ego and control games (also of the “human critter”) upon self and others. Consider how much suffering, strife, perpetuation of cycles happens . . . when the urges and feelings “own us” (AKA, addiction: a hit of “feel-good”, that never seems to be enough).
And we see the result in children born into such “addictive” events; and us thinking them a bother, another tool to abuse for our purpose . . . or disposable.
A lot of rot, happening just so “the grown-ups” can placate things in their past (wounds, deficiencies, deviancies) still mastering them.