It would seem we all would want to head towards serenity: but is that inherent or does it require a conscious effort?
I have to admit that I think I tend to gravitate towards conflict, with an awareness that serenity is better. I can consciously pull back if I choose to and will when I play out various scenarios in my head. The thing I wonder about is how is the foundation structured in the first place.
( I chose the picture because of the aggressive way it suggests stopping aggression. Can we always find a way to be violent, regardless of the message itself?)
© 2026 – SoulSequel
18 responses to “Is your natural inclination attracted to conflict or serenity?”
Having observed man kind for more than 258000 years, man kind will always gravitate to conflict. War and violence catches your eye more easily than serenity. Simple example of this: you’re driving down the road and you pass a public park where people are enjoying the warm weather and sunny day. Serene, and you barely notice it and continue on your journey.
You continue driving down the road and you slow to a crawl and gawk at the accident involving multiple vehicles, hoping to see dead bodies and blood , gore, and guts…it’s human nature. Somehow the thought of someone else’s misfortune bolsters your sense of well-being.
@immortal_pirate your last sentence struck a chord. Einstein is right EVERYthing is relative. Thanks for your contribution to the thread.
@spitfire3dc You’re welcome.
i Desire calm, but i dont often have it. i have it when i purposefully seek it. the rest of the time it seems i work hard and work to over come conflict. when i let go and accept, i feel less conflict. but then ive settled or given in and i dont like that either.
the image reminds me of a pin i had (which has apparently fallen off and ended up who knows where). it was red and in white letters on it said Say No to Negativity
@BelleMadre no to negativity. Made me chuckle…but it does raise an interesting question about the challenges to reinforce positivity.
Reminds me of something I read today from a cuz of mine. It was one of those kooky posts about this tempest in a teapot associated with saying Merry Christmas. Basically it said Don’t happy holidays me because I will Merry Christmas the shit out of you. Every time I see one of these kinds of postings it pours out a downer. I just don’t get why people need to react so negatively to this whole issue. I have always said Merry Christmas and have never felt the opposition to it, except through people who seem to be angry over something they may not need to??
@spitfire3dc i figure say what you want, as long as it isnt designed to make someone else feel horrible!
I rather be calm and happy, but I cannot ignore an injustice. I have always been the one who will stand up and speak out. That is why I chose Saint Veronica as my confirmation saint when I was in the 8th grade. She was the woman who handed Jesus a cloth to wipe his face when he was carrying the cross, even though everyone around her was screaming and spitting at him.
WE ARE RESILIENT
WE ARE INDIVISIBLE
WE ARE GREATER THAN FEAR
WE WILL DEFEND DIGNITY
WE WILL PROTECT EACH OTHER
@Gina first off, I have always admired your passion for causes you believe in and I think you back up your vocals with acts. That is the true illustration of real.
Your post made me think of “Be the Change” and that is easier said than done. It seems passive and yet it, to me, seems that through that more passive set of actions we demonstrate a more productive response to all the negativity that argument raises.
It’s a lot like hating hate. Hate wins.
I wish there were more people like you. People who look at things through a lens of justice for all. There are too many who look at things more from a justice for me perspective.
@spitfire3dc Thank you for your kind words. I bet you will enjoy this video called, Be the Change – by MC Yogi.
MC Yogi creates an exciting sound for a new generation of modern mystics, urban yogis, and conscious hip hoppers. He has used yoga and meditation to help reform gang members in his hometown of Oakland, CA. He was named the official Yoga Master of the Obama White House, back when the White House was truly “THE PEOPLE’s” house.
@Gina
And I heard as it were the noise of thunder One of the four beasts saying come and see and I saw And behold a white horse There’s a man going around taking names And he decides who to free and who to blame Everybody won’t be treated all the same There’ll be a golden ladder reaching down When the Man comes around The hairs on your arm will stand up At the terror in each sip and in each sup Will you partake of that last offered cup? Or disappear into the potter’s ground When the Man comes around Hear the trumpets, hear the pipers One hundred million angels singing Multitudes are marching to the big kettledrum Voices calling, voices crying Some are born and some are dying It’s Alpha and Omega’s kingdom come And the whirlwind is in the thorn tree The virgins are all trimming their wicks The whirlwind is in the thorn tree It’s hard for thee to kick against the pricks Till Armageddon no shalam, no shalom Then the father hen will call his chickens home The wise man will bow down before the throne And at His feet they’ll cast their golden crowns When the Man comes around Whoever is unjust let him be unjust still Whoever is righteous let him be righteous still Whoever is filthy let him be filthy still Listen to the words long written down When the Man comes around Hear the trumpets, hear the pipers One hundred million angels singing Multitudes are marching to the big kettledrum Voices calling and voices crying Some are born and some are dying It’s Alpha and Omega’s kingdom come And the whirlwind is in the thorn tree The virgins are all trimming their wicks The whirlwind is in the thorn tree It’s hard for thee to kick against the pricks In measured hundred weight and penney pound When the Man comes around. Close (Spoken part) And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts And I looked and behold, a pale horse And his name that sat on him was Death And Hell followed with him.
My natural inclination is to find serenity. I have, on occasions, witnessed tragic circumstances, airline crashes, house fires, marital conflicts, and my reaction is to want to solve, or watch a solution that will calm it down, save lives, save the situation and restore peace and health. If nothing I can do will bring about solution, then my own best move is to stand back and walk away. Others — like Fire Department, Police, and rescue professionals can handle these situations better than I can. It is best to not be in the way. If it is a conflict in my own life, I distance myself from it and walk away — not looking back. I get my own life back to a peaceful state and move on with my own tranquil “bubble” life.
While being a passenger in Immortal Pirate’s truck, a traffic snarl will set him off into a tirade of cussing. I go inside myself and listen to him cuss. I recall a dear loved one who had that same voice tone and quality and was always cussing. When that loved one died, I missed him. Hearing the same voice and words coming from Immortal Pirate is like revisiting that lost loved one and inside me, I say “hello” to missing that person. By the time I am finished with that fantasy, traffic is moving and Immortal Pirate has calmed down. Life is pleasant, once more.
@ladybarbara anybody who has had the variety of experiences you have had would surely be able to find comparative balance in a view towards serenity. You seem to have not only survived, but flourished through some pretty adverse circumstances.
Do you think the serenity you claim is through the B’hai teachings that you have somehow absorbed and somehow further evolved into your own personal set of beliefs?
@spitfire3dc No, I do not think it is because of the Baha’i Faith, because I sit there in the room wishing I was not there and the meditating silent moments make my temper flair. I want to shout, “Don’t just sit there quietly smiling. Get on with the next thing and lets get this over with.” There are children running around screaming during prayers and taking food from just anyone’s plate during the social part of the prayer session. I want to shout for the parents to get control of their children. I leave the Baha’i meeting with my blood pressure so high that I have to force myself to calm down before going home. Home is tranquil and I hate being a tightly wound bomb about to explode as I come through the door. The Baha’i Faith aggravates me.
I think that my survival instincts come from being raised in a house where my Mom took in my Uncle and his 13 children, then 2 or 3 more children, and my brother and I. We were 17 children and 2 adults living in a small cracker-box house with two small bedrooms and ONE BATHROOM. Besides the other kids fighting over every trivial thing, my Mom would take her frustrations out on me and pull me around by the pony tail for any infraction of constantly changing rules. I had to learn to duck and hide. I had to learn to have alone-time by forming my own bubble around myself. I learned to cook to stay in the kitchen. I ate my meals at the kitchen sink, so that I could be alone while washing dishes for everyone. It was like living in a war zone. I escaped by working at a roller rink as much as I could. I got my first paying job at 11 years old.
By the age of 30, I worked at an Ambulance service. There is a way of thinking —- a mind set —- when you work for an ambulance service. You experience people who are “Road Pizzas” and you have to look them in the place where their eyes should be and tell them that it is OK and they will be fine. Even as they are in the throws of a death rattle, they need assurance that they will be OK and will get through this. After they are dropped off at the hospital, the Medical Tech has to get a calmness to handle the next emergency. I could not handle the gore of the crash of flight 182 in San Diego (1978) and I had to learn to walk away. I came away from that crash sight with a case of PTSD that stays with me. I have learned to ignore the chaos and get my head in a calm place. I learned to know when further pursuit in an argument is futile and simply drop it and let the cards fall where they may. Walk away and let others sort out the problems.
Each person does things in their own way, but they have figured out how to get things done. It may not be my way of doing things, but it is a way, nonetheless. If you drop it and step away, someone will pick up where you left off. Or, someone will get the place back in order in their own way. When there is conflict, I stand back and watch as it will get solved by the other conflictees —– if I just back off and stop being upset about it. I find my own peaceful mind-place and ——– walk away. That is how I survive.
KILL
https://news.brown.edu/articles/2009/01/hotsauce
SPOILER ALERT
An interesting question! I am not sure what my “nature” is, but over time I have learned to work to resolve conflicts.
There was a time in my life when I thought I was “letting things go”. Conflict would arise, and I would seemingly let it go, of letting it go means remaining silent, not engaging. I don’t think this did bring me peace, though. It may have, at times. Other times, I think that over time I came to resent others. to me, that is more about me Than them, because I did not have the ability to work through conflict.
Now I have learned to say when I have a problem with something. Many times I say it as that, “I have a problem with that.” I state my pov and hear the other person out and work to resolve whatever conflict exists.
Occasionally, I meet someone who seems to have the inability to listen to anyone other than their own inner landscape, and in these cases I work to avoid the human and keep myself safe, because I recognize that all attempts to resolve conflict will be futile.
@Scarlett I think anyone with any degree of observational skills would see your nature, at least from the perspective of “reading” you mind, which is what we do here, as leaning much closer to the serene, versus the negativity associated with conflict.
Conflict doesn’t necessarily have to mean negativity because resolving conflict is in and of itself constructively positive. You don’t resolve conflict through passive aggressive silence, or vocal argument where louder is more right.
We live in a conflict ridden world and I find wisdom in staying safe when you can’t trust everyone to understand the counter productivity of aggressive conflict.
My personal philosophy on this comes from the wisdom of Solomon: “For everything there is a season”. And in different seasons I can steer towards and promote either aggressive/assertive or the serenity (actual and perceived) of serenity/submission.
Too much assertiveness can make one a butt-headed ass. Too much “serenity” can turn one into a atrophied “blah” — a piece of flotsam drifting on the river of life: either coldly indifferent or hemorrhaging heart-blood all over the place.
We need to remember that in both broad and specific terms, “aggression” is an integral part of nature. Whether one slaughters a cow or decides “this cabbage needs to die so I can live”, it’s still an asserting of yourself over the fate of something else. Competition and “survival of the fittest” is such a fundamental part of reality as we know it.
Let’s keep in mind that each and EVERY one of us is the result of the most “aggressive” sperm, beating out up to 1.3 billion other competitors to be the first to detonate its chemical warhead on the protective sheathing of the egg.
@griz hmmm…the sperm thing does kinda put it all into perspective.