what life skills are rarely taught, but extremely useful.
No one is taught how to breathe. The most basic function, critical for all of life.
Inhale through your nose to the count of three, hold for three, exhale through mouth to the count of three.
DO this a few times when you first awaken, and as much as you need to anytime you feel anxious or upset.
And remember the only thing you HAVE to do is breathe in and out.
© 2026 – SoulSequel
29 responses to “life skills”
Google Sesame Street, it’s alive (you breathe and eat and grew… and that is how you know, it’s alive….)
In terms of life skills, there should be a class teaching interview skills from an early age. Why? For 16-18 years the system expects children to be seen and not heard, and then expects those selfsame kids to be well spoken enough to get a job. Idiotic.
I find self control to be an extremely valuable life skill.
Not only is it rarely taught, society actively teaches against it with so many professional “victims” calling on everyone else to watch their step lest you trigger them unto losing control.
@griz the question then becomes with that excess of self control, is there ever any area you are completely free to “let down your hair” and let loose? If you are never able to let yourself go completely even for an instant, is that conducive to life?
@Jear77
I retain that choice! Though I exercise it less and less frequently; or at least less frequently to it’s ordained folly!
There is also an incredible degree of “letting down one’s hair” in peace and joy — in setting down one’s CONSTANT pain and struggle to prove oneself “worth” of transcendence of life’s struggle and pain, to “save” oneself from oneself, to be “right{eous] ” in and of oneself.
You imagine pitfalls that are not there. (which is hallmark of worry and fear — things that work against peace and joy)
@griz peace and joy can’t duplicate life experience.
@Jear77
What led you to believe this was their purpose?
@griz you’re saying that it’s better to have joy and peace than to live life. I say no.
@Jear77
I said that joy and peace are necessary parts of living life to its fullest.
Without them life teeters on misery and desperation.
@griz but this joy and peace lead you to avoiding many things that normal people do. How is this healthy?
@griz I agree with the part about self control, and also self regulating. However, mental illness is a serious things. I have seen others on this site make fun of triggering. People who have PTSD actually have brain damage in the part of the brain that controls this. Triggerings are real. There are far more people in this world suffering with PTSD that some may realize. The good news is, with help and information, these people can heal and reverse their brain damage. Until they do, it might be prudent of us to be aware of these triggering, use our filters, and treat others with kindness.
@Scarlett
Of course they are real. I have (and have had) my own “trigger-points”.
Consider though that at the essence of “effective” psychiatric treatment, is the teaching to “control” these aspects of self. We’ve fallen into dark thinking whereby it becomes the job of the drug, the therapist (or everyone else!) to exercise this “control” on behalf of the “cripple” who refuses to identify (let alone throw away) the crutch that gives them status.
Consider too, the trend where quite literally ANYTHING . . . can earn status as “mental illness” . . . removing responsibility and accountability from the individual to control their own eating, their own habits, their own responses, their own processes.
We’re constantly lowering the threshold of “sick” and “ill” — to the point where soon NOBODY will be classified as healthy!
I know she doesn’t read my responses, but…. breathing lessons???
“Inhale through your nose to the count of three, hold for three, exhale through mouth to the count of three. DO this a few times when you first awaken, and as much as you need to anytime you feel anxious or upset.”
I’d think most of us need to do this all day, not just when we feel anxious or upset.
breathing = life skill?
@Fletch a skill is something that you can develop by degrees of proficiency. Breathing is actually a good example. A lot of people allow themselves to let breathing be one of their subconscious exercises but if you want to step up proficiency, you can improve the benefits by consciously focusing on technique that will deliver tangible results.
Kinda like running. Anyone can run, but some people work on mechanics and it clearly makes a difference.
@spitfire3dc one noteworthy thing. Even though I say the words it is a lifeskill we don’t teach, I really mean it isn’t commonplace. However, they are beginning to teach children in some schools “belly breaths”, this is meant to teach the children an alternate, healthy response to anxiety, agitation, aggression etc.
When we breathe, especially during anxiety, we are making space. I wonder if babies feel anxiety when they are being born. I can’t imagine anything more traumatic.
in the mad rush, relearning how Not to multitask is a skill i wish id been reminded of a long time ago
focus on one thing at a time is hard when you work in a public sphere, or anywhere really, but i feel better for it. knowing how to move in and out and back again with tasks is also important, but doing one thing at a time, im working on that.
my favourite yoga relaxation/destress breathing exercise is to breath out longer than breathing in. like, take a long slow breath in with your nose. count in your mind if you need to. start with maybe 5. count as you breath in through your nose, slowly, 1 2 3 4 5. this doesnt mean hold your breath for 5 seconds. it means fill your self slowly with air while counting in your mind as you intake. then breath out through your nose for a few beats longer than when you breathed in. or your mouth if you are stuffed up :D as you breath out, breath out further. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7. helps deep relax and clear out stuff apparently. but it has helped me relax for sure
@BelleMadre This is a really good one! I am a huge multi-tasker, but I think it can and does affect the quality of my labors. Humans were not meant to be multi-taskers.
@Scarlett its too Much!
Getting food into your mouth. In my toddler years, my Mom and brother fixed me finger foods that I could eat with my fingers. I had to figure out for myself how to get these foods into my mouth.
I was old enough to remember when another of my Aunts took over my care to teach me to eat with a fork and spoon. It must have looked like scenes out of The Helen Keller Story. Rather than deaf, dumb, and blind, I was loud, obnoxious, obstinate, OK and dumb. My Aunt Katherine was determined to get me to eat like a lady before I was old enough for Kindergarten. It was very traumatic and memorable for both of us.
Last year, I was cleaning up my Aunt Katherine’s house and washing up a kitchen full of dishes, while doing a garage laundry area full of clothing. Several of her family members were getting her house in order. When we were done, she asked what she owed us. Nothing. She owed us nothing. Her daughter and sons might have to work for free, but I am her niece and she said that I should take some payment. I told her I was repaying her for the years it took for her to get me to use a spoon and fork. Can you imagine what my life would be like if I was still eating with my fingers? Remembering the hell I caused her in those years more than 65 years ago …… we had a good laugh.
Eating in a way that is socially acceptable is a skill we should all learn.
@ladybarbara yeah, and another one is teaching kids to hold their food over their plate.
Listening.
Listening sounds like such a fundamental issue, much like breathing, but it can also be honed with very specific elements that make a person a much better communicator. If you can understand more than what your transmitter is saying, by understanding where they are really coming from, you can respond in a way that they can actually understand what you mean.
That was too many words. Let me pare it down. Understand the person saying the words and you will understand what the words actually may mean.
Listening could easily be a full semester course because there are many skills within the overall category that can be taught and applied through a conscious effort. Example, asking questions, increases receptivity in one’s brain to what someone may be saying because a personal stake is involved. This skill requires active listening versus the passive manner in which most people consider the exercise.
I’d put this life lesson right near the top of required skills and the earlier it is learned, the more benefits it will deliver over a life span.
@spitfire3dc this is too true, and there are so many people who want to be listened to. They want someone to listen to their stories. Some people tell their stories again and again, and I think thats okay, too. It takes as long as it takes.
Another point on this is to listen when you know when you are in the presence of a master. it took me a long time to learn this, just to be quiet.
Right now I am in a class wherein my professor has a PhD in Social Work, has authored many books and articles, and has much life experience. I knew before I knew all of this just by hearing her speak, she was a Master so I grow very still and listen. However, if she gives us a chance to ask questions, I always ask a question. never turn down a chance to ask a master a question.
Sometimes I just ask them what I need to know?
I think we were taught to fall down? It’s all about weight distribution on impact.
@luftballooneyegouge hmmmm not sure about that, but were you aware that if you see an elder fall, you’re not to rush over to them as if its the hugest crisis ever. You are to calmly reassure them, offer them a blanket and pillow and call for help.
@Scarlett
Yes, and to keep them surrounded by jello to cushion falls.
@luftballooneyegouge you’re funny. I like that. I like people who are clever and funny and witty. I have humor, too, but it is more in the form of laughing a lot. I laugh a lot when I read your writerings.
@Scarlett
instead of Oliver Reed, I’m Oliver Weed
@luftballooneyegouge You got it. That was one of the most important lessons I learned in Clown College —- how to fall and not get hurt. Once it is learned, it stays with you. It has been 40 years since I have worked as a clown for birthday parties. Now, I am elderly. I fall and don’t hurt myself. I might get bruised, but I don’t break bones. I fell from a step ladder in the garage. It scared Immortal Pirate — but I rolled with the fall.
@ladybarbara
Oh, I didn’t go to Clown College. Batman dropped me in a vat of chemicals that altered my skin’s pigments.
ha…
ha…
@luftballooneyegouge You are funny and that was my first chuckle of the day.