Are you a proponent of good manners?’
What is considered rude in your country?
Do you have anything that is rude, yet fairly common in your country?
rude gestures?
Are people more polite now or were they more polite long ago?
what is something you were taught as a child about manners? does it make sense to you now?
© 2026 – SoulSequel
10 responses to “Manners”
Are you a proponent of good manners?’
Yes. I believe we should treat people the way we want to be treated. Sometimes its hard when I end up treating people back in the way they are treating me. One of my many challenges.
What is considered rude in your country?
Looking at a phucking phone when you are with someone in real life. Not saying thank you or sorry, even when not applicable. Farting in an elevator. Not waiting calmly in an orderly line. Many people choose to stand in the longest line to illustrate their good manners. Making a left turn on as the light turns red when you are not already in the intersection…and so the list continues.
Do you have anything that is rude, yet fairly common in your country?
Coming to a rolling stop and making a right turn into a busy intersection.
rude gestures?
Rolling your eyes in response to a comment heard. Leaving an extremely small tip because of events in a restaurant that are in no way in the control of the server.
Are people more polite now or were they more polite long ago?
Politeness has lost the focus it once had. Rules used to be accepted and now people are looking for freedom from anything that smacks of anything other than self control. It’s society’s loss because it makes it harder to predict how one must behave in any given environment. Like I said in an earlier conversation; its hard to know when to hold a door open for a woman. The response to that is entirely un-predictable.
what is something you were taught as a child about manners? does it make sense to you now?
Eat quietly with my mouth closed. Yes, it makes sense. I have passed that gem on to my children.
@spitfire3dc this is interesting! I didn’t know that about the eye rolling and the low tipping. Typically around here it is mostly teenagers that roll their eyes.
Do you guys use the middle finger gesture? They do that here.
Do you think when you’re angry while driving?
I am a big proponent of manners, however, the one I couldn’t really understand and still don’t is “elbows off the table” Why is that so bad? isn’t our elbow one of our cleanest places? cleaner than our hands.
@Scarlett Yo, elbows 100% go on the table. That is exactly where they go. That is their home.
@yin ha ha ikr
@Scarlett The middle finger is universal, although the fist in the inner elbow allows you to put an exclamation point on it. The Italians have brought so much that is good to our culture. Pizza and awesome body gestures.
Sure I think while angrily driving. It is some of my most energetic thinking.
Elbows on the table do not bother me, but there are two explanations for it. The first is that it is just an extension of when table tops were not secured to the legs. We’re really going back, here but old habits die hard. The other is that it is related to bad posture. What was bad posture is still bad posture, although somewhere along the line slouching has become common place. If a guy can wear his pants under his ass, what is the big deal about walking or sitting like a gorilla?
It seems that bad posture doesn’t get noticed as much as good posture. When I see someone with it; the impression generated is one of classy sophistication. A person who understand the importance of first impression. Take a look around next time you are in a restaurant. You will see both and ask yourself ‘ Is there anyone in here that strikes me as classy without even knowing them? Why? You can automatically attach characteristics to something as simple as posture, even if they aren’t fact. Educated, higher self esteem, wealthier, self respect…All kinds of positive, intangible, things that suggest they have their shit together.
That last statement reminds me of another question associated with manners. Is it bad manners to use foul language? I think it definitely is when used just for the sake of sprinkling a conversation with unnecessary expletives. But I will freely use it with people I trust. When a customer uses it in front of me, in a way that adds emphasis, I take it as a sign that he trusts me. It is not that hard for me to make a distinction between the use of foul language as a sign of disrespect and the exact opposite and it usually comes after a person gets to know you.
However…and this is totally sexist, I am totally turned off when a woman uses bad language and maybe that is because I start off with total respect for women and in most cases men have to earn it.
Kinda brings to mind an interesting exercise. Think about anyone you know and then ask yourself, How would I feel if (put name here) told me to fuck off? Hurt? Amused? Offended? No reaction at all? Walk away? Completely clear about that persons’ opinion? Frozen and incapable of hearing what comes next?
It is a valuable phrase in our current cultural lexicon because the meaning when offered can be completely misinterpreted or completely understood. I like it because of its absolute flexibility. Think of it coming out of a person with bad posture or good. Which is actually more threatening?
I *try* to be polite, but sometimes fail. But i am also polite to automatic answering services
Are you a proponent of good manners?’ —-
Yes. Just as I believe in the Golden Rule of treating others the way I want to be treated. When the other person is rude to me, I step back and then walk away.
What is considered rude in your country? —
Pushing and shoving in. Cutting in and cutting another person off. Paying more attention to your electronics (your phone) than you are to the person you are with. Eating loud and sloppy. The way Orientals have of not allowing for personal space. At a popular fish market at the beach, Vietnamese stand so close to me that I cannot lift my elbows and they are stepping on my feet. They shout out their order over the voice of my order, even though they are in line BEHIND me. Waiting patiently in line is good manners, and leave a “personal space” between people.
Do you have anything that is rude, yet fairly common in your country? —-
I agree with elbows off of the table, and don’t lean on the table, hovering your mouth over your plate. Don’t bite off more than you can chew, or fit in your mouth. Food hanging past your lips looks bad. You are not a seagull, so don’t eat like one.
When visiting a Persian residence, remove your shoes at the door. When eating, do not involve your left hand and keep your left hand off of the table. Don’t offer your left hand to another person. Learn to pull your bread apart using only the fingers of your right hand. NEVER lick your fingers!!!
Rude gestures? —
Giving people the finger!!! Mooning another person.
Are people more polite now or were they more polite long ago? —
No, people are lax in their manners nowadays. Long ago, there were classes in manners and proper table manners. The words “please” and “Thank you” were the standard. Now it is rare that those words are used. It used to be that you always introduced yourself at the beginning of a phone call. Now, some people just start talking, and you know who it is by voice recognition. I once had a phone conversation with a man I thought I recognized his voice as my boyfriend’s. We were well into the conversation before I realized he was a complete stranger and he had called the wrong number. My current boyfriend always starts a phone conversation by saying, “Hello! This is Jay.”
what is something you were taught as a child about manners? does it make sense to you now?—
That soup is to be spooned in the direction AWAY from you. I never understood that. I do it, but only because I was taught to spoon away from me. Then there is the rule of breaking off a piece of toast, or bread, to butter just that little piece. I butter my whole bread slice, or my whole roll.
@ladybarbara but what are the elbows hurting? I agree with most of the rest of what you said. Manners are not completely gone tho. I recently purchased a book that I use as a workbook with my step son/ it is how to be a gentleman
@Scarlett I am physically a midget and if my elbows are on the table, then I am leaning on the table. My arms are not short like a dwarf, but just a bit short. Tall people can put their elbows on the table without leaning on the table. To me, tall people are 5 ft. 2 in. and over. Being a short stature person is not a bed of roses. I am the first to know when someone farted and I wish more people wore under arm deodorant.
I am very humble, meek… so, by default, I tend to rely on good manners.
There are exceptions, as there are snakes out there.