As many know here, I have been mentally ill (and an alcoholic and drug addict). Recovering alcoholic now, almost seven months. And with sobriety came sanity, as well. My schizophrenia (actual diagnosis) was severe, though I was able to hold down jobs for awhile.
Now, my schizophrenia is dormant, and drugs *was just using cough syrup and sometimes pot* and alcohol I do not even think of anymore.
I was not hearing and seeing things, but believed substantial delusions, like that all my coworkers were angels and/or spies, and they spoke in code to me which was to help them maintain their cover.
EVeryday I am astounded, thinking back, on just how mentally ill I was.
Now, I just have to watch out for triggers and take my meds.
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Responses
Not sure we ever talked. What was it that made you choose sobriety (congrats by the way, I am also a recovering alcoholic) and what are you doing to continue your way of life?
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@Fletch AA. In fact, I can credit AA with persuading me I am schizophrenic, too. When I did the fourth step there was just so much that I went, “Oh. I did that because I believed X Delusion”.
Both alcoholism and schizophrenia are similar in the victim tends to disbelieve they are either.
But, yeah, AA is the bomb. I went as a kid, but didn’t get into it. I thought, because I remained sober for many years, that I could safely drink… but after about a ten year binge here, I now know that is not the case.
And alcoholism really is bad for a schizophrenic.
(Though, all said and done, my story is not much different from anyone else’s in AA, we all have delusions. Especially, if we engage in over drinking or “something like that”)
On talking to me: I have, for years, had a wide variety of accounts here, and at soulpancake. Because of my schizophrenia and love of acting (and need for security) I would shift accounts, deleting old ones, and starting over. I also like anonymity and don’t like people stereotyping me.
We have talked, here and there, is all I know.
Probably my best known account name is Lucifer, on the old soulpancake. I took from the graphic novel character. And kind of role played while I used it. Just happened natural. The graphic novel character is what the tv show of the same name is based on. FYI.
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@Fletch I actually did not answer your question: I hit rock bottom. That is why I chose sobriety. Ten years of drinking, mostly one long binge. And schizophrenia running wild. I picked up a weapon, while blackout drunk, and threatened someone. That got me a felony charge. That was my rock bottom.
This was after ten years of drinking… losing several jobs, posting crazy drunk stuff, burning bridges. Basically, advertising to everyone who ever knew me that I am unstable. Four psych ward visits in two years. Two hospitalizations related to drinking and drug use. All within two years.
So, yeah, that inspired me to quit drinking. Finally, I realized, “I am an alcoholic”.
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@five2one
how does your wife and 4 kids cope with having a drug addict/alcoholic husband and father with mental issues?
are they going to AlAnon or getting help as well.
addicts and alcoholics can destroy a family – hopefully they seek counselling too.
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