” I believe that if an individual is not on the path to transcending his society and seeing in what way it furthers or impedes the development of human potential, he cannot enter into intimate contact with his humanity”- Erich Fromm
We live in a society that has experiences massive amounts of sexual trauma. Examples? gender inequality, sex trafficking, marital rape, inequality based on sexual orientation etc. Some of these things have only been discussed on the societal stage recently, and when I say recently I mean the last 30 years or so.
Imagine you were born into a utopian society where everyones healthy safe sexuality was nurtured into full bloom, and their deepest emotional and erotic identity was acknowledged and celebrated, how would that feel? How do you already contribute to a sexually just society?
© 2026 – SoulSequel
15 responses to “Society”
Through respect for the choices of others.
I haven’t the faintest inkling of how a man can be sexually aroused by another man, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t possible. I accept that. I can understand how a woman can be aroused by another women, because it is probably based on something I can more easily relate to personally.
But sex aside, I think that understanding what love really is, versus the version most people accept as their truth, helps me with a sense of comprehension that doesn’t need words to define.
It’s too bad that sex-love have become inextricably tied to contribute a confusion that understandably distracts from the bigger picture.
This utopian society that you refer to would only be possible if the chemicals in our bodies that drive procreation and sometimes influence our uglier emotions like greed, envy, anger, as they are related to our personal self image associated with our sexuality were not in evidence. And then what? Extinction.
@spitfire3dc
My personal thought is that the uglier (or just mistaken or mis-channeled?) feelings are there for a purpose: namely to teach us to have a moral and spiritual backbone . . . exercising discretion and mastery over ourselves for the greater good rather than just caving to the feelings of the moment for our own greater glory and letting them progress into our absolute master.
Right now society is on a real trending bend to the latter. Feelings ebb and flow; change like waves or the wind. We are meant (or even ordained?) to be far more than just flotsam tossed by the waves or blown on the wind.
And I maintain that learning in discernment and strength is both beneficial in this life, and essential for any life that may come after. And that those who don’t learn it will be in for a very “hellish” time.
@griz are you implying that those who have a different sexual orientation than yourself are simply following momentary feelings? It has been proven that it is all genetic.
In any case, though I agree we need to exercise critical thinking in life, we can’t discount feelings. Feelings are what is behind a lot of art and beauty we see today. We need both thinking and feeling to make it all go.
Also, I reject completely what you say about ugly, or mischanneled, or mistaken. it seems like you are implying that is how lgbtq individuals should be labeled.
@Scarlett
There’s an element of “reaching” going on when a topic suggesting better control elicits a response of it being a call for total discounting or abolishing of something.
A rready example is seen in gun nuts who, at any mention of greater controls, jump completely and almost hysterically to a conclusion of abolishment of all guns.
It’s the same fear reaction seen in almost all addictive behavior: jumping to extreme, almost always worst-case scenarios. It is a reliable indicator of addictive process.
And addiction is entirely about feelings. So we’re back to the question of whether we control our feelings or they control us.
There is not a base human feeling or urge that one cannot tie the “genetic predisposition” boondoggle (excuse) to.
Whether theft, gluttony, inconsideration, violence, laziness, the need to dominate, psychological disability . . . Or sexuality. Yet part of socialization is learning to exercise control over these base feelings and urges.
And most successful treatments of psychological disorders, hinge upon teaching better control over thoughts feelings and urges so they are not as prone to controlling you.
So why does everything spin counterclockwise when those thoughts feelings and urges involve sexuality?
Hmm?
And correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t sexual/gender dysphoria conditions that have been officially recognized by medical professionals?
I know this goes against current pop thinking and analyzing. But whenever you get one thing moving backwards against everything else, it warrants special scrutiny.
Especially if it’s something that has the proven ability to override our higher intellectual abilities with lower base feelings and urges.
This ties into my posts of late charging that we are a society moving backwards into immaturity when it comes to things like exercising self-control and taking responsibility for the choices we make despite the base urges we feel.
It’s a poorly conceived dodge to just say “Oh it’s all genetic” . . . meaning that we either cannot or should not do anything about it.
I had nothing to do with the gblt (and now “q”???) label: nor with it being stuck on our downtown streets, bridges, workplaces, public spaces, political agendas, bathrooms . . ,
It is a label that speaks of being totally defined and controlled by feelings and urges; and wanting that control to extend over others even if they “feel differently”.
Freedom means that they can be like that if they wish. But it also means that I can say I think it is a mistake and is leading us somewhere dodgy — ant that they air in thinking their feeling should exercise control over everyone and everything else.
We can have feelings without being addicted to them.
@griz I have noticed for a long time that you have an issue with those experiencing a different sexual orientation than your own, and to be honest, given your nature, and your own feelings about the importance of relationship, it just doesn’t add up to me.
Further, where is your evidence to support your thesis?
here is mine
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25172350
Biologists have determined that it is in our makeup as to what our sexual preferences are. The initial q represents questioning.
As for what you speak of on feelings, yes it is important to manage our feelings in a way so as we can do as little harm to self and others as possible.
it is also important to recognize that there are people who aren’t quite there yet, and we can’t just go around telling them to manage their feelings. We have to listen to their stories, and plant seeds. there are people who need their stories and feelings validated before they can move on to the next level of managing feelings.
@spitfire3dc not sure about that last part, but I must say that womens figures are so aesthetically pleasing that it is easy to see how women can be attracted to other women. As for the guys, well, it has been proven that it is all pretty much genetic. So that explains why you can’t see it, you’re not wired to see it. Maybe in the next life…
@Scarlett
Are you certain that is not just a cop-out excuse, as is commonly used by many social movements?
Trying to blanket genuine concerns for the welfare of the society as a whole as just “haters”?
Many people throughout history have expressed concerns without labs full of “hired thinkers” (in lieu of us thinking!) that over time have proven susceptible to finding just the answers that will continue their funding/popularity.
(Look at how effectively the CDC has been silenced by the gun lobby — and they are America’s “official thinkers” when it comes to issues of public safety!!)
Not all scientific processes are corrupt; but enough are that society’s thinkers should not be so quick to addict themselves to “official responses”.
You’ve said it all, with “preference”. At the heart of it, this is all it is.
Also, just when has the credo of Humanity been “to do as little harm as possible”? (We — the destroyers?)
Given the gifts and resources at our disposal . . . shouldn’t we aim for something slightly higher?
We’ve mistaken permissible/doable . . . for “beneficial”. (With selfishness managed). Good stewardship of all we’ve been entrusted with.
We need to witness for the goal of managing our “critter” feelings. Right now it seems nobody is even advancing this as an expectation. Just the opposite.
The expectation . . . is to be out of control of oneself: with the scientists and “experts” trotting out all kind of “official excuses” as to why we don’t, can’t, or shouldn’t bother reaching any higher. (ie, “it’s genetic”)
We can be sensitive to the crippling issues besetting human society . . . without enabling them.
@Scarlett
My thought is that wiring is for robots.
We have that aspect to our nature (instincts, preferences, urges, feelings, “the flesh”).
But we are also more than this. More than just robots OR “critters”.
“I’m so sick of these neverending Mandatory Erotic Identity Celebrations!”-Angry Utopians
….Utopian Problems
@luftballooneyegouge
Most “gender identity” debates hinge entirely upon how we should respond when our feelings don’t match up with manifest reality. Should reality yield, or our feelings?
In almost every case NOT involving sexuality, we have deemed (wisely I think) that those suffering the psychological ailment warrant treatment to help them master the feelings that don’t line up with manifest reality.
But we do a complete 180 when the dysfunction involves sexuality: too often requiring that all of reality (from bathrooms to their bodies) needs to change so sexual dystopia isn’t triggered.
My thought is that this triggers a “reality-disconnect” where feelings become the new reality; which sets a dangerous precedent. We have the power to change and skew a lot of things to our likings of this moment.
But in an alarming number of cases there are serious unforeseen repercussions for everyone down the road.
I see a critical difference between being a victim of trauma and being victimized by trauma.
Any kind: physical, emotional, psychological, sexual, spiritual. Hurts are a part of life. We either heal and move on, or languish in a kind of walking death.
We are a society that loves being a victimized; both for the feelings it brings us and the power Society has allowed it to wield. And right now sexual victimhood is the trending, vogue, pet, all-powerful poster-child that can steal the spotlight from any other trauma.
We are to the point where we can be traumatized sexually by our own thoughts, our own bodies, our own feelings, our own old baggage, by what we feel others are doing or not doing, thinking or not thinking. . .
We are caught up in a huge orgy of victimhood . . . And I’m starting to think that we must obviously love it.
@griz no, I disagree. victims of sexual trauma don’t love that they are victims. There are different ways people adapt to trauma. Some people return to their prior level of functioning after trauma. Some people maladapt, meaning they get worse after a trauma, this could be the same as what you say on people remaining in victimhood. Some people bon adapt, meaning that they function higher after the trauma. We can’t judge people for how they respond to trauma. The way they respond will depend on outer and inner resources available to them, but I believe there is always hope that one day they will get the resources they need. Maybe we should focus our energies on being that resource, rather than passing down judgement that they haven’t gotten over it.
@Scarlett
For the person who is in control of themselves, remaining in a bad situation means some large aspect of them enjoys it or loves it. (And presenting it like this can have a “shock value” to help otherwise functional people change course.)
So the next logical conclusion is that great aspects of the trauma still control them, rendering them out of control in these (or perhaps all?) aspects of their life.
So we are back to the issue self-control (or lack thereof) that I have been talking about of late; and what might be required to augment that self-control in one’s life.
(And beyond this are those who are congenitally out of control of themselves. But I don’t like presuming anybody is this kind of psychological nvalid unless such a conclusion is medically inescapable. We have too many people wandering about fancying themselves persistent psychological invalids — often with the active assistance of a medical community driven by personal gain)
Never gonna happen…
@immortal_pirate
Absolute and total Utopia? Not in the frame of time and reality we currently can see.
And “sexual Utopia”, perhaps even longer! But this won’t stop may from whiling away their allotted time dreaming of it and spinning off into all kinds of bizarre tantents.
But we can most certainly work harder towards things like moral and spiritual justice. There are so many people in the world dealing with base injusticies that are so very very far removed from the concerns of luxuriant societies dreaming of “justice” for their play-time sexual feelings.