Sonder: A neologism (new word) for the profound feeling that every random person has a life as intricate, full, and epic as your own, with unique stories, worries, and ambitions.
I’ve seen other pictures of people walking down the street with little tidbits above their heads. But this image brings me back to Nashville when I first remember doing this but also when I first realized that I do this. I also like to people watch (like at a mall) and make up stories and conversations for the people I see.
Does anyone here do this?
© 2026 – SoulSequel
13 responses to “Sonder”
I like to people watch. I don’t necessarily make up stories or conversations though it has happened as internal monologue on occasion. I’m an observer by nature. I don’t talk much because I do think that most people have a full epic life in some way…but also that it’s much more epic and full than mine.
So I watch and listen.
@barryjack But, you always have room in your bed to spread out and no one steals the covers. You always know that the toilet seat is exactly how you want it. You have full control of the TV remote and all the shows on your TV are just what you like to watch. There is no one to raid your refrigerator and eat the food you were looking forward to eating. If someone is eating your food, it is a doggie with a funny smile and you gave him the food. Your time is your own.
@barryjack let’s go people watch with the dogs haha
@fosheet i’m in! c’mon!
I see the most people in the grocery store. I see the older woman shaped like a question mark and having a hard time pushing her cart. I see parents with a crying child in the basket and a toddler grabbing things off of the shelves. I see two women carefully choosing foods. I see the alcoholic man put booze in the basket and the look on his wife’s face is something I remember from my past. I see men shopping alone and buying bachelor items. I see the big tall bear of a store Manager watching to see if I climb on the shelves to reach something on the top shelf. He grabs me under the arms and lowers me back to the floor, like a parent correcting a naughty kid. I often compare my life to others. I can still stand straight, I don’t have kids with me, my man doesn’t drink booze or get drunk. I recall my bachelor days when all I ate was 3 tacos a day and did not go to the grocery store, except for odd things. Life was good then, and life is still good, but different than it used to be.
Hi fosheet, I have heard of sonder many times. It is an interesting concept and so true to life. I think we can easily get stuck in auto-pilot and forget about sonder.
I don’t necessarily people watch too much anymore, but I try and stay aware of my environment and the people around me.
I do think every one has a story. I like to practice compassionate curiosity regarding people’s stories and why they may behave as they do.
So I don’t necessarily make up stories for the other people, but I definitely wonder about their stories. Moreover I ponder brain architecture of other people.
I think if I were to do life over again I may become a neuro-scientist ha ha.
@Scarlett2 a neuroscientist is an excellent profession for you. You were made for social work. Are you still on that path?
Compassionate curiosity is what gets me through life I think. I like to learn about and observe others. When I worked in Louisiana thay was my job, I managed about 130 staff and did behavioral programs for 120 clients. Now that I’ve moved on to a different chapter in life I don’t get to do that as much anymore.
@fosheet Wow- that sounds like very rewarding work, and a little exhausting. I am an LCSW now. Hope all well in your new chapter! Do you like what you are doing now?
@Scarlett2 it has its moments. Im about 2 years into “retirement”. Now I spend my time reading, watching Grey’s, helping my dad, playing with the dogs, or handling the horses. It is relaxing in its own way, but I miss my old job at the same time.
LCSW! I’m so happy for you. I know how much work you’ve put in to get those letters.
@fosheet Whoah- that sounds amazing. Congrats!
@Scarlett2 thank you. It was a long decision that over the course of a few years it just naturally happened. I graduated with my MSW in 2020 and with COVID happening. It hit my facility in 2021. So much changed and there was so much sickness and death that it just broke me. Also in 2021, my dad got hurt at work (he’s better now minus a few limbs).
Between him and COVID I lost my momentum and my purpose. We decided as a family that my job was slowly killing me. My dads ordeal helped put it all into perspective. I had my gallbladder taken out in 2024 and took 6 weeks off work. My soul was still tired so I told them I couldn’t return to work. My dad decided to move to Alabama shortly thereafter and I came along for the ride.
I have a little stud colt now, hes 9 months old. I still have my dogs, they are 15 and 16 now. I still do consulting with my clints noe but its mostly instructing supervisors and consultants with the clients behaviorals.
What about you? Do you have your own practice? Gosh. I’m really excited for how much you’ve accomplished.
Spend my time trying to find the bits of me I lost along the way.
One day at some far distant point in my extensive existence I may put words to paper of the
EPIC ADVENTURES OF THE IMMORTAL PIRATE…or how I spent my summer vacation.
In the meantime, I will ponder to wander as I saunter to sonder most somber and plunder the wonder of life on this lump of dirt and rock called Earth.
I love that image that you shared. I’ve heard of this word but honestly have not thought about it much lately. I think I’ve come to understand that everyone has their own experiences that even if they feel to be mundane would be quite intriguing to anyone from a different walk of life. I think it’s trippy the way we humans have similar experiences but all have unique perceptions of those experiences and we all seem to think that our experiences are unique, which I’m sure they are, but just the vast amount of possibilities is mind boggling…
Just recently I shared with someone about a job I had many years ago. This job had a lot of downtime and one day one of my co-workers asked me if I wanted to “play”. I had no idea what they were talking about. They they motioned to a couple walking in past us that were talking to each other. They created dialogue that the man was saying the woman, then motioned to me as if it were my turn. Still confused, I said, “How could you know what that man is saying to that woman?”, then they said, “That’s the game!” So we shared sonder creatively during our lulls of our work day.