Do you think marriage as an institution is outdated? Why or why not?
The divorce rate is actually slightly down these days and this is attributed to people waiting until they are older to get married. But, really, what is the point of marriage? I can remember the days when all I could think about was getting married. Now, the thought of a marriage is meh. How much emphasis do you place on marriage as an institution?
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5 responses to “Til Death Do Us Part”
I can remember my youth and looking forward to marriage with all my heart and soul. I had a hope chest where I collected dishes, silverware, linens, and every gadget of my kitchen dreams. I had a love-of-my-life (Lowell Henry) who was my babysitter and I would sit with him in front of my hope chest and show him what I had collected for my someday marriage to him. However, that did not work out. I married other guys and he married other women. I always wanted a love to last a lifetime, but kept teaming up with men who wanted marriage for only a few years. When I was old enough to know EXACTLY what I wanted, I was 45. I wanted that boy I fell in love with as a child. So, I married Lowell Henry. Til death do us part. Then, in 12 years —- he died.
He was a Teamster and as his widow I have his Teamster pension. I remember the big burly Teamster representative getting in my face like he was going to grab me by the neck. He spat in my face, “You get this pension, but the very MINUTE you remarry IT IS GONE!!!!”
Lowell’s Social Security was so much larger than my own and I got his amount. However, if I remarry, it will resort to half the amount my new husband gets, or the original amount of my own small Social Security. Hell no!!! I will stay unmarried as a widow of a Teamster and live comfortably. Marriage is not that important to me.
Lately, I was told that the Baha’i Faith does not approve of Immortal Pirate and I living together without any plan of getting married. So, I chose Immortal Pirate and the Baha’i Faith can go fudge themselves.
I think that people should wait until they are 30 years old before getting married. Get a career started and get all your wild oats out of your system. Young people want to get married and most times that first marriage is going to fail. It is like a trial marriage and you learn life’s lessons during that marriage.
A wedding costs up around $40,000.00 and a bride gets excited to spend all that on a wedding. She dreams of the dress and the wedding. —– However, once she is a wife, she wishes that she had put that $40,000.00 down ON A HOUSE!!!
That said, — there was my high school girl friend who watched me have a wild life and marry over and over. Meanwhile, she waited until she was 30 years old, had a good job and education. She always bragged that she was virgin and did not give out samples. She had a white wedding at 31. She was virgin. She got pregnant at 32 and died in child birth before her 33rd birthday.
I had a talk with Immortal Pirate’s son’s live-in- intended. We talked about what that marriage license brings. If her man is hurt and in an ICU unit — maybe dying — the hospital visiting rules are immediate family only. If you are not the wife and next-of-kin you will be sitting in a waiting room and getting news of your mate second hand from his family. When it comes to getting his Social Security amount (which is more than your amount), you have to have that marriage license and you have to have been married for TEN YEARS. It is the same if he had a pension set up. You must have a marriage license and you must have been married for ten years. If you are to inherit the house, you have to have your name on the deed. Anything less and you are out of luck. To those who say, “meh” to marriage, you are not thinking of something happening in the future. Think of what you will do if something happens to him.
@ladybarbara Sage advice, I think 30 is a good age to get married, let them get to know themselves well before they choose a mate. I had the white wedding at 25 and the man I married was just awful. I remarried at 36 in a quiet cabin ceremony, and that man was decent, but he did not love me the way I need to be loved. Perhaps if I had been not broken at that time, I could have made it work. Social security or not, I think two marriages is enough for me.
Marriage is an institution…but so is an insane asylum. That being said, in the last 258,766 years, I’ve lost count of all the mates that I have lost…I have no desire to be institutionalized.
The wedding idea scares me since I hate being in front of that many people, or any number of people really. Marriage itself is whatever. Marriage is unnecessary to me. If I am in a relationship, I feel as though there should be the same boundaries, for me at least. If things don’t work out, it is an easier split. I don’t really care about anyone taking my last name or vice versa. Only positive I really can see from it is like some hospital stuff or something. Something where family is involved like that. I respect that idea that people feel that it is a giant and necessary step in a relationship, but that just ain’t me. I’m not totally against the idea, but I am not dreaming about it or planning on it. Just not interested.
@yin thats what I think! I did it twice and we all saw how that turned out. I think there may be something to being in a relationship and knowing you can leave easily that makes it easier to stay.