I miss 4ams. Closing my eyes and feeling the earth spinning. My heart over the ocean. The water. Kicking rocks. Sitting in the stream. The stream. Looking into eyes. Starting fires. Looking into eyes so long that everything in my line of vision turned brown or blue. Two minute noodles. Writering. Not writering. The room i had that was shaped like a womb. Being alone. Being together. I miss the lets be friendsers and the i dont want to be just friendshers. I miss the dead christmas trees. I miss crying on Thursdays. I miss. I miss sooo many things soo much.
© 2026 – SoulSequel
16 responses to “what do you miss?”
I miss the Redondo Beach Pier in Redondo Beach, CA. I miss the shops and the restaurant Tony’s where a seagull waits just outside the open window and begs for food. I miss freshly caught fish from the fish market. I miss the smell of the ocean and sand getting in my shoes.
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@ladybarbara you and IP should go there on vacation!
@ladybarbara the salty air is just the best, right?
@Tits McGee No, it has nothing to do with salty air.
Picture a woman with a 2 year old child by the hand. The child is dressed in a frilly dress. The woman is walking her on the pier to show her off. The year is 1949. The woman takes the child to all the fancy shops, buys her cotton candy on a paper cone. She stops at a shop to buy them matching hats. They have lunch at Tony’s and feed the noisy seagull in the open window — that is begging for bits of food. Then they go to the fish market to buy smoked salmon to take home. That was my Mom and I was the child.
We repeated that same scene countless times through the years. Flash ahead to 1960. Mom takes her 13 year old daughter to walk on the pier. The daughter’s usual surfer casual clothing is replaced with an outfit that matches her Mom’s outfit and the daughter feels that the outfit is “lame”. She likes cotton candy, but doesn’t want it because she is afraid her friends will see her there with her Mom. They go through the fancy shops and Mom buys them matching hats. Oh! How humiliating!!! They go for lunch at Tony’s and feed the squawking seagull in the open window. They buy smoked salmon in the fish market to take home.
We repeated that same scene for the next 5 years. Then, married, my husband took me to the pier — shopping the shops, lunch at Tony’s, fish market smoked salmon to take home. Year after year and with each husband I had in life, we did the same visit and lunch at Tony’s — a different seagull begging for food, but the same, somehow.
Flash ahead to 2012 and I am 65 and pushing my 95 year old Mom in a wheelchair at the pier. We shop in the shops and I buy us matching hats and cotton candy. We have lunch at Tony’s and sit at the open window where a seagull squawks for bits of our food. We stop for smoked salmon at the fish market, but she can no longer eat such rich fish and we feed it to a friendly pelican that lets my Mom pet it.
Mom spends her last 5 years in a “Home”. But, I go to the pier with Immortal Pirate. We shop all the shops and have lunch at Tony’s. We sit by the open window and feed the squawking seagull who begs for food. This seagull won’t accept plain bread, you have to butter the bread for him. We did not go to the fish market, but we walked in the surf of the beach. I would be moving to Arizona and I would miss this pier. It has watched me as I grew from a baby to an old woman.
Salty air??? No. I come for a life full of memories —– and to feed a squawking seagull buttered bread and bits of my steak and fish.
@ladybarbara The seagull in the window, begging food at Tony’s.
@ladybarbara write a book!!!!!!! I’m begging!!!!!
@Scarlett2 BE SURE TO FACT CHECK HER BOOK.
@ladybarbara WHAT?
I don’t know. I never really know. I could say I miss peace and quiet, but if I got that back, I would probably miss being near someone. It’s like that for a lot of things for me. I want one thing but I want the other thing back. I can’t make up my mind and it can be toxic at times. I guess I miss me some of that macaroni and cheese from Ryan’s (restaurant.) That stuff was the best.
@yin in my city, they have restaurant that serves fried macaroni and cheese!
@Scarlett2 Honestly, I’m not even sure what the fried kind is or what kind Ryan’s had. I know people love putting breading or whatever with it and I just don’t want, lol. I’m a pretty plain person. Just plain for the most part with everything. Don’t really want foods touching. I’m way too picky, but I just can’t help it. That mac and cheese though was the greatest. I think Kroger’s had some that was the same way, but I only had it one Thanksgiving so many years ago. It’s just some kind that never seems to dry out and is always so soft.
One Thanksgiving, my uncle was given a plate at his daughter’s to bring home to me. I love corn. I like some cornbread. She made this thing where the corn was in the cornbread or something. That texture… I ate most of it, but it was not a good time. I have some bogus gag reflexes like that. If the wrong texture is there, it a bad time.
@yin Mexican cornbread is very good, too. You put corn and peppers in it.
snow
The Home world… in a galaxy far far way.
what does it mean exactly to miss someone anyway? Do we miss a specific thing about a person? or is it a conglomeration? In any case, my missing is broken, or maladaptive in some way. I can miss people when they are sitting right in front of me. Maybe I time travel and miss them in the future? I miss people I’ve never met. I miss Bach and Richard Feynman the mostest.
If you close your eyes – can you feel the earth spinning? I swear I felt it just then! But I felt it going the wrong way…am I insane?