What is the best response to the statement, “I don’t care”?
Where do you wanna go to dinner? “I don’t care.”
What do you want for Christmas? “I don’t care.”
What are your thoughts on global warming? “I don’t care.”
Generally speaking, it is an abdicating of responsibility.
And without accepting responsibility for the reality that is currently “in our care”, we regress back into childish process.
But a caution here — relating to how loosely we often use our words and phrases with little “care” as to what we’re actually saying. (It’s a common theme I bring up).
It can also mean, “I’m fine with/will adapt to whatever will be”.
When it comes to inter-gender dynamics, men a long time ago have learned that for the sake of domestic peace and the saving of time — AND TO FORESTALL ENDLESS NAGGING LATER (!!!!) — to simply let the woman make the decision.
Knowing that if they decide, and as things unfold the woman is unsatisfied with the outcome in any way, everything will become “their fault”.
We need to remember that both sexes have their strengths and their foibles/foolishness. Both exert themselves and try to dominate/control the other in different ways. Men are “gifted” at going-with-the-flow . . . and recognizing a losing battle early-on. (We can “close up one drawer” and go hang out in another until things calm down!)
And a note to the women. Mens’ processes generally aren’t that complex, especially compared to a woman. (Men’s minds are like a chest-of-drawers, Woman’s like an interconnected ball of string).
They should not also “abdicate responsibility” for men choosing not to invite sometimes withering psychological scorn and ridicule upon themselves later . . . by simply saying “Whatever you decide, dear!”.
Perhaps the best response to your man saying “I don’t care”, is to remind them that it is a partnership and you are interested in what they think/would like. And assure them that if their thoughts/liking are not your thoughts or to you liking, that you won’t psychologically assault them for it down the road — perhaps as a rogue coup-de-grace — in some future “battle”.
@Scarlett
There is certainly a variation within the genders. I’m very careful to say “they tend to” rather than “they do”!
But a trend that cannot be overlooked is that in a relationship when men and women say “Fine, we’ll do what you want” . . . It can mean two entirely different processes going on inside of each!
ooooerrrrgh
is how i react to that kind of response. with that exact expression
if i am asking it is because i dont want to make the decision. but i guess that irritation is for me to deal with, within my self. why do i get annoyed by the i dont care/i dont know response?
sometimes i reword. because i am also asking because i know, based on past experience that you do probably care (whoever the person is i am asking). so maybe i will instead say Do you prefer ___ or ___ .
what i think i know is that i dont care/i dont know/whatever responses are more like Im not in the mood for this conversation right now. which is a bummer
@BelleMadre
I understand that men have some work to do in this regard.
We’re trying to overwrite eons of programming where a wrong choice could result in relationship catastrophe!
“Would you prefer to go visit my folks this weekend, or go to the races?” (Yikes!! Red Alert!!! Measure carefully the next words to come out of your mouth; or you could be paying for it for years!!)
It’s not an excuse; but it is a pretty good reason why we can be quick to say, “You choose, and I’ll make myself fine with it”.
Where do you wanna go to dinner? Sushi
What do you want for Christmas? Serenity
What are your thoughts on global warming? It’s a fraud perpetrated by flawed science in an attempt to steal your wealth.
I actually do care and have tried to enlighten you* on occasion, but you* refuse to listen, I guess it’s easier to blindly follow the herd…
* you being the general term for mankind and not a specific individual.
I keep in mind that I am with a partner who had 31 years of being told what to do, where to go, what not to do —— and it is time in his life to get his way and do things his way.
Sure, I have times that I crave tacos and Immortal Pirate senses it and we go to my favorite taco place and he orders something from the menu. Tacos are not his choice of food, especially the Del Taco tacos that seem to have a strange meat that our animals won’t even eat.
For the most part, our tastes in foods and choice of activities are much the same. Our taste in movies really differ. I have sat through some very violent movies that made me want to run out of the theater screaming —– but I sit and hold it together, because I was the one — when asked what movie we want to see —- who said, “Oh, I don’t care.” I have had to be told that the plane crash is “Just a movie” —– while my own PTSD has me terrified and I can actually smell core blood and gut smells from the torn apart bodies I have seen in real life. I sit and wish that I did not say that I did not care what movie we went to see.
When I say that I don’t care where we go to eat, at that point, I will eat anything, except eggplant, or jalipino peppers. At home, I am the one choosing what I will cook and what he will eat. So, on the occasion that we eat out, he should be able to pick where he wants to eat.
As for Christmas? I am easy to buy for. Immortal Pirate and I wear the same size clothing. I love earrings. I love those gift packs at the drug store with bath products and scrubbies. I go crazy for socks of all sorts.
If he gives me a response of, “I don’t care”, it means that he is open for suggestions because he really does not care. Immortal Pirate always says exactly what he means.
On political views, we are the same and we know that no matter what crazy thing the Left makes up, things will work out the way they work out and the Left are proven to have been wrong about our President. Time will tell and it always works out that way. So, there is no reason to argue about it. We just wait and it always comes out in our favor.
The best response to , “I don’t care.” is just to suggest until we hit a good result. DON’T leave it to me because I will choose tacos every time. Tacos are the answer to what I want to eat, what I want to do, what I want for Christmas, and what I will do about the weather. Just shake a bag of tacos at me and I am in heaven.
@Weenis I am a lousy source of taco information. I am loyal to Del Taco for the strange mystery meat that tastes like ammonia on Tuesday afternoon — and my animals won’t eat it. My second choice is any Taco Bell. So you know I am a low-life taco eater. I like Fish Tacos, too. I have ordered tacos from a little Mexican restraunt in the tiny mall on the corner of 107th and Lower Buckeye in Avondale and the fish in the fish tacos tastes like a mud sucking bottom feeder fish, mud tasting and slimey. I don’t recommend them. The Islands Restaurant on McDowell near 99th Ave. have a fish taco that used to be just like the original Baja recipe, but the new chefs have found a way to mess up the cabbage and the sauce. I do suggest Dillon’s Restaurant on Lake Pleasant —– a floating restaurant in Pleasant Harbor. The fish tacos there are exactly right. They are like the original recipe that came from Encinada, Baja in the 1980s. The sauce is perfect. Everything else on the Dillons menu is well worth the $6.00 parking fee to get in to the harbor parking. A little golf cart shuttle takes you to the docking area where a boat ferry picks you up and ferrys you out to Dillon’s Bayou Floating Restaurant. I recommend the Louisiana Pulled Pork. I don’t recommend forming a conga line and doing the conga to the live band —- because a long conga line will make the whole restaurant bob up and down in the water.
The winner of the WORST tacos ever! The International Bistro located in the the mall near 99th Ave. and McDowell. The taco lettuce is wilted soft lettuce that tastes like spinach leaves. The meat is hamburger, but the cheese is Feta cheese. It takes so long for them to cook them and serve them, you would swear they are being cooked in the country of Greece. It takes an hour to wait for food there. The tortilla is a hand patted tortilla that has the same texture and taste of a beach thrown Frisbee.
I would love to find a place that made tacos like the tacos of my youth at Redondo Beach, CA. They had lightly seasoned hamburger meat, crisp lettuce, and a big pile of cheddar cheese that was a wonderful welcome to the tongue. No one has come close to making tacos like those.
So, I eat the sad tacos from Del Taco, and long for the good tacos of a bygone era.
@Weenis I haven’t been to Phoenix in decades, but this might help you. It’s an atricle that lists the top 10 tacos in Phoenix in 2016. They all look really good and authentic, and they are making me super hungry. Real Mexican Tacos don’t use greasy cheddar cheese like a lot of Gringo restaurants do, as you probably know. Authentic tacos sparingly use drier cheeses like Cotija or Queso Fresco.
Sweet, I’ll give this one a whirl. It’s 20 minutes from work, but I’ll try it some Tuesday. Probably after the first of the year since I’m on PTO for the next couple weeks.
My thoughts on this are don’t ask questions where you may get this kind of response.
For example; I need your help because I can’t make up my mind about what I feel like, Chinese, Mexican or Italian? What would you prefer? Any ideas for a place?
If I got an “I don’t care response to that series; my response would be, “OK I’ll see you after dinner.
I wouldn’t ask, what do you want for Christmas? For me, part of Christmas is trying to illustrate that you KNOW the person you are buying gift for, well enough to illustrate your gratitude of having them in your life. Its also a great excuse to be really cheap…as long as you hit the nail on the head related to meaningful.
Last question; if this person has a habit of saying I don’t care; ask it this way, Why do you think I shouldn’t care about global warming?
now, for the over-riding response to the question in general because that is what you actually asked for; might be, “whaddaya mean you don’t care? Do you mean you don’t care for me, because not answering my f’n question is a way to illustrate that. Now then, that’s just me because I am extremely high maintenance
@spitfire3dc good ideas, all. I have been called high maintenance for the way I want to talk about things. I guess I am different in that regard. I want to talk things out until there is a revelation.
22 responses to “What is the best response to the statement, “I don’t care”?”
Generally speaking, it is an abdicating of responsibility.
And without accepting responsibility for the reality that is currently “in our care”, we regress back into childish process.
But a caution here — relating to how loosely we often use our words and phrases with little “care” as to what we’re actually saying. (It’s a common theme I bring up).
It can also mean, “I’m fine with/will adapt to whatever will be”.
When it comes to inter-gender dynamics, men a long time ago have learned that for the sake of domestic peace and the saving of time — AND TO FORESTALL ENDLESS NAGGING LATER (!!!!) — to simply let the woman make the decision.
Knowing that if they decide, and as things unfold the woman is unsatisfied with the outcome in any way, everything will become “their fault”.
We need to remember that both sexes have their strengths and their foibles/foolishness. Both exert themselves and try to dominate/control the other in different ways. Men are “gifted” at going-with-the-flow . . . and recognizing a losing battle early-on. (We can “close up one drawer” and go hang out in another until things calm down!)
And a note to the women. Mens’ processes generally aren’t that complex, especially compared to a woman. (Men’s minds are like a chest-of-drawers, Woman’s like an interconnected ball of string).
They should not also “abdicate responsibility” for men choosing not to invite sometimes withering psychological scorn and ridicule upon themselves later . . . by simply saying “Whatever you decide, dear!”.
Perhaps the best response to your man saying “I don’t care”, is to remind them that it is a partnership and you are interested in what they think/would like. And assure them that if their thoughts/liking are not your thoughts or to you liking, that you won’t psychologically assault them for it down the road — perhaps as a rogue coup-de-grace — in some future “battle”.
@griz actually, I personally have found that women are more prone to respond this way
@Scarlett
There is certainly a variation within the genders. I’m very careful to say “they tend to” rather than “they do”!
But a trend that cannot be overlooked is that in a relationship when men and women say “Fine, we’ll do what you want” . . . It can mean two entirely different processes going on inside of each!
ooooerrrrgh
is how i react to that kind of response. with that exact expression
if i am asking it is because i dont want to make the decision. but i guess that irritation is for me to deal with, within my self. why do i get annoyed by the i dont care/i dont know response?
sometimes i reword. because i am also asking because i know, based on past experience that you do probably care (whoever the person is i am asking). so maybe i will instead say Do you prefer ___ or ___ .
what i think i know is that i dont care/i dont know/whatever responses are more like Im not in the mood for this conversation right now. which is a bummer
i was also thinking, we ask as a way to care. as a way to give. which is why it hurts when we dont get care in response.
@BelleMadre
I understand that men have some work to do in this regard.
We’re trying to overwrite eons of programming where a wrong choice could result in relationship catastrophe!
“Would you prefer to go visit my folks this weekend, or go to the races?” (Yikes!! Red Alert!!! Measure carefully the next words to come out of your mouth; or you could be paying for it for years!!)
It’s not an excuse; but it is a pretty good reason why we can be quick to say, “You choose, and I’ll make myself fine with it”.
@BelleMadre I do that two choices thing a lot with my stepson
Pretty sure you don’t care about my opinion on it.
Where do you wanna go to dinner? Sushi
What do you want for Christmas? Serenity
What are your thoughts on global warming? It’s a fraud perpetrated by flawed science in an attempt to steal your wealth.
I actually do care and have tried to enlighten you* on occasion, but you* refuse to listen, I guess it’s easier to blindly follow the herd…
* you being the general term for mankind and not a specific individual.
@immortal_pirate
People can ask for your opinion without being prepared to hear it or entertain it.
I keep in mind that I am with a partner who had 31 years of being told what to do, where to go, what not to do —— and it is time in his life to get his way and do things his way.
Sure, I have times that I crave tacos and Immortal Pirate senses it and we go to my favorite taco place and he orders something from the menu. Tacos are not his choice of food, especially the Del Taco tacos that seem to have a strange meat that our animals won’t even eat.
For the most part, our tastes in foods and choice of activities are much the same. Our taste in movies really differ. I have sat through some very violent movies that made me want to run out of the theater screaming —– but I sit and hold it together, because I was the one — when asked what movie we want to see —- who said, “Oh, I don’t care.” I have had to be told that the plane crash is “Just a movie” —– while my own PTSD has me terrified and I can actually smell core blood and gut smells from the torn apart bodies I have seen in real life. I sit and wish that I did not say that I did not care what movie we went to see.
When I say that I don’t care where we go to eat, at that point, I will eat anything, except eggplant, or jalipino peppers. At home, I am the one choosing what I will cook and what he will eat. So, on the occasion that we eat out, he should be able to pick where he wants to eat.
As for Christmas? I am easy to buy for. Immortal Pirate and I wear the same size clothing. I love earrings. I love those gift packs at the drug store with bath products and scrubbies. I go crazy for socks of all sorts.
If he gives me a response of, “I don’t care”, it means that he is open for suggestions because he really does not care. Immortal Pirate always says exactly what he means.
On political views, we are the same and we know that no matter what crazy thing the Left makes up, things will work out the way they work out and the Left are proven to have been wrong about our President. Time will tell and it always works out that way. So, there is no reason to argue about it. We just wait and it always comes out in our favor.
The best response to , “I don’t care.” is just to suggest until we hit a good result. DON’T leave it to me because I will choose tacos every time. Tacos are the answer to what I want to eat, what I want to do, what I want for Christmas, and what I will do about the weather. Just shake a bag of tacos at me and I am in heaven.
@ladybarbara (shaking bag)…lol
@immortal_pirate Is that what is in the wrapped gift under the tree???
@ladybarbara
What’s your favorite taco spots in the greater Phoenix area? I’m wanting to compare notes ;)
@Weenis I am a lousy source of taco information. I am loyal to Del Taco for the strange mystery meat that tastes like ammonia on Tuesday afternoon — and my animals won’t eat it. My second choice is any Taco Bell. So you know I am a low-life taco eater. I like Fish Tacos, too. I have ordered tacos from a little Mexican restraunt in the tiny mall on the corner of 107th and Lower Buckeye in Avondale and the fish in the fish tacos tastes like a mud sucking bottom feeder fish, mud tasting and slimey. I don’t recommend them. The Islands Restaurant on McDowell near 99th Ave. have a fish taco that used to be just like the original Baja recipe, but the new chefs have found a way to mess up the cabbage and the sauce. I do suggest Dillon’s Restaurant on Lake Pleasant —– a floating restaurant in Pleasant Harbor. The fish tacos there are exactly right. They are like the original recipe that came from Encinada, Baja in the 1980s. The sauce is perfect. Everything else on the Dillons menu is well worth the $6.00 parking fee to get in to the harbor parking. A little golf cart shuttle takes you to the docking area where a boat ferry picks you up and ferrys you out to Dillon’s Bayou Floating Restaurant. I recommend the Louisiana Pulled Pork. I don’t recommend forming a conga line and doing the conga to the live band —- because a long conga line will make the whole restaurant bob up and down in the water.
The winner of the WORST tacos ever! The International Bistro located in the the mall near 99th Ave. and McDowell. The taco lettuce is wilted soft lettuce that tastes like spinach leaves. The meat is hamburger, but the cheese is Feta cheese. It takes so long for them to cook them and serve them, you would swear they are being cooked in the country of Greece. It takes an hour to wait for food there. The tortilla is a hand patted tortilla that has the same texture and taste of a beach thrown Frisbee.
I would love to find a place that made tacos like the tacos of my youth at Redondo Beach, CA. They had lightly seasoned hamburger meat, crisp lettuce, and a big pile of cheddar cheese that was a wonderful welcome to the tongue. No one has come close to making tacos like those.
So, I eat the sad tacos from Del Taco, and long for the good tacos of a bygone era.
@Weenis I haven’t been to Phoenix in decades, but this might help you. It’s an atricle that lists the top 10 tacos in Phoenix in 2016. They all look really good and authentic, and they are making me super hungry. Real Mexican Tacos don’t use greasy cheddar cheese like a lot of Gringo restaurants do, as you probably know. Authentic tacos sparingly use drier cheeses like Cotija or Queso Fresco.
http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/restaurants/biggest-food-stories-phoenix-2017-vegan-bbq-taco-9937755
I found this one on Yelp. I am pretty good at searching for good restaurants via the web.
http://urbantacos.net/
@Gina
Sweet, I’ll give this one a whirl. It’s 20 minutes from work, but I’ll try it some Tuesday. Probably after the first of the year since I’m on PTO for the next couple weeks.
@Weenis I would like to find a good fry bread taco. I used to buy them back in New York state at the REZ in Akron, N.Y.
@ladybarbara I like just about any kind of tacos. red lobster fish tacos may be one of my favorites
…me neither
…me neither
…we’ll get the kid swimming lessons (or) the kid can swim, riiight?
My thoughts on this are don’t ask questions where you may get this kind of response.
For example; I need your help because I can’t make up my mind about what I feel like, Chinese, Mexican or Italian? What would you prefer? Any ideas for a place?
If I got an “I don’t care response to that series; my response would be, “OK I’ll see you after dinner.
I wouldn’t ask, what do you want for Christmas? For me, part of Christmas is trying to illustrate that you KNOW the person you are buying gift for, well enough to illustrate your gratitude of having them in your life. Its also a great excuse to be really cheap…as long as you hit the nail on the head related to meaningful.
Last question; if this person has a habit of saying I don’t care; ask it this way, Why do you think I shouldn’t care about global warming?
now, for the over-riding response to the question in general because that is what you actually asked for; might be, “whaddaya mean you don’t care? Do you mean you don’t care for me, because not answering my f’n question is a way to illustrate that. Now then, that’s just me because I am extremely high maintenance
@spitfire3dc good ideas, all. I have been called high maintenance for the way I want to talk about things. I guess I am different in that regard. I want to talk things out until there is a revelation.