My understanding of how all of this was born was because someone wanted to talk about what matters. If we talk about the little things , do we thereby make our lives small? What really does matter to you and universally?
What matters? A peaceful life matters to me. I’m retired and I want peace. I want my car to start when I turn the key. I like a life with no big arguments. I like my life to be predictable.
@ladybarbara Those seem like worthy goals to me! It does suck when one cannot have peace or be mobile. It seems like you have had a lot of chaos historically, and now you are ready for a nice, peaceful, quiet life with IP.
@Scarlett2 I agree. It’s not that we never argue. We state our opinion and don’t have to shout because we each know that the other has not lost their hearing. We hear one another just fine. Talking things over works every time. It makes for a peaceful life.
I don’t think talking about the small things makes our lives small. “Big” and “small” are often matters of perception. Some of the values we think of as big, like love, meaning, or understanding, don’t live in the abstract. They show up in ordinary moments, everyday choices, and small exchanges. What matters to me comes down to connection, and how we interact with one another (or don’t), even if we express ourselves in very different ways.
@mamajoy Yes, I agree. Big and small could be subjective. What matters is very subjective to a degree, I think. Universally, I think less destruction matters? I don’t know if humans are capable of this, though.
It sounds like what matters to you is a genuine connection. Perhaps this is why you continued this site? The search for genuine connection? Have you found this search for connection has been with you all your life? I hope you have found it!
I know that I was moved and touched by people on SP and here prior to “the end.” I tried to continue relationships with some of them and we were able to do that to a degree over email or social media. However, when I tried meeting a couple of them it fell through on their end for one reason or another.
Is it possible to distill it further? If what matters is connection, what is connection? How does one know when they have found that?
@Scarlett2 Yeah, I don’t know if humans are capable of less destruction. We seem to aim for it, but the results are rarely clean or simple. Even well-intended efforts tend to come with unintended consequences, which makes lasting impact difficult.
I also don’t think connection is something you “find” and hold onto. It’s something that happens briefly when conditions allow for it, and then passes. Occasionally you meet someone you genuinely click with, and that often moves beyond a momentary connection into something more lasting, like friendship.
“If we talk about the little things , do we thereby make our lives small?”
No, I don’t think so. The little things become bigger, either brighter or darker. Nothing is ever as beautiful or as frightening than when we give it our full attention. A sunset is never more beautiful than when we give it a thought, share it, talk about it or even makes us think of and talk about all the other sunsets we’ve taken the time to appreciate. Even though a sunset will never mean more than that it is time for the day on the other side of the world, we can give it the meaning we want just by living it and talking about it.
Same for everything. Big and little things. Pay attention and talk about what you will. Make things matter.
8 responses to “What matters?”
What matters? A peaceful life matters to me. I’m retired and I want peace. I want my car to start when I turn the key. I like a life with no big arguments. I like my life to be predictable.
@ladybarbara Those seem like worthy goals to me! It does suck when one cannot have peace or be mobile. It seems like you have had a lot of chaos historically, and now you are ready for a nice, peaceful, quiet life with IP.
@Scarlett2 I agree. It’s not that we never argue. We state our opinion and don’t have to shout because we each know that the other has not lost their hearing. We hear one another just fine. Talking things over works every time. It makes for a peaceful life.
I don’t think talking about the small things makes our lives small. “Big” and “small” are often matters of perception. Some of the values we think of as big, like love, meaning, or understanding, don’t live in the abstract. They show up in ordinary moments, everyday choices, and small exchanges. What matters to me comes down to connection, and how we interact with one another (or don’t), even if we express ourselves in very different ways.
@mamajoy Yes, I agree. Big and small could be subjective. What matters is very subjective to a degree, I think. Universally, I think less destruction matters? I don’t know if humans are capable of this, though.
It sounds like what matters to you is a genuine connection. Perhaps this is why you continued this site? The search for genuine connection? Have you found this search for connection has been with you all your life? I hope you have found it!
I know that I was moved and touched by people on SP and here prior to “the end.” I tried to continue relationships with some of them and we were able to do that to a degree over email or social media. However, when I tried meeting a couple of them it fell through on their end for one reason or another.
Is it possible to distill it further? If what matters is connection, what is connection? How does one know when they have found that?
@Scarlett2 Yeah, I don’t know if humans are capable of less destruction. We seem to aim for it, but the results are rarely clean or simple. Even well-intended efforts tend to come with unintended consequences, which makes lasting impact difficult.
I also don’t think connection is something you “find” and hold onto. It’s something that happens briefly when conditions allow for it, and then passes. Occasionally you meet someone you genuinely click with, and that often moves beyond a momentary connection into something more lasting, like friendship.
“If we talk about the little things , do we thereby make our lives small?”
No, I don’t think so. The little things become bigger, either brighter or darker. Nothing is ever as beautiful or as frightening than when we give it our full attention. A sunset is never more beautiful than when we give it a thought, share it, talk about it or even makes us think of and talk about all the other sunsets we’ve taken the time to appreciate. Even though a sunset will never mean more than that it is time for the day on the other side of the world, we can give it the meaning we want just by living it and talking about it.
Same for everything. Big and little things. Pay attention and talk about what you will. Make things matter.