what were you always told?

I was always told I was stupid by my mother. She told me this many times when I was growing up. In some ways, it was a good thing, because it pushed me to be the first person in my family to graduate from college. In some ways I believed her, but then again it pushed me to prove her wrong. At any rate, I feel like this has been something that has been told to me again and again throughout life, mostly through men questioning my intelligence or poking fun at something I say. I find that rather sad. I think it is always good to question what we are told, though. Ask ourselves, is it true? is it helpful? etc. etc.

10 responses to “what were you always told?”

  1. My upbringing was at the other end of the spectrum.
    My paper credentials are at the other end of the spectrum too.

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  2. Yin says:

    Early in school (elementary), I did great. I was usually praised by how smart I was (family and teachers.) It was just easy at that stage. Later on, school got harder, grades went downhill, and people kept saying that I am smarter than that and just not applying myself. I always hated those compliments to begin with and set us all up just for it to crumble. Kind of like how I know the basics of the internet and computers, but they always assume I can fix whatever their issues are. I really know nothing. Me liking and doing a thing doesn’t cause me to try to master it. I do just enough that pleases me. Any extra is just stress and misery (and I do mean actual misery.)

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  3. I think you are smart, if i make jokes here it is just hiding my true heart or just having fun and attempting to be witty.

    I find u a deep and wonderful person, however you should get put of such a thing. Your mother really abused you in that way, it is a dirty lie. I am sorry she did that. You are not her, nor was her slander anything real.

    For me, ppl say i am relentless… amongst other things.

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  4. ladybarbara says:

    My Mom always told me that I was a pain in the ass to her. I was a financial burden that she resented taking on. She used to tell me that I was just like her sister, Florance. I couldn’t understand that because Florance was simple-minded and retarded. I was not a retard, nor was I simple-minded. But, Mom would say that I would grow up to be like Florance. Florance had the mind and intellect of a two year old child.

    It wasn’t until I was 18 that I learned that I really was Florance’s child. Mom was raising her retarded sister’s child. —— So, it was good that I got a job at the local roller rink at the age of 11. I was paid good wages and could afford to buy my own clothing and school lunches. I could pay for my own dance lessons and all the expenses that incurred while I was growing up.

    I didn’t grow up to be anything like Florance, but learned to respect the position of being her caretaker as I became adult, and Florance stayed forever 2 years old. She was too much for me to handle, but I placed her in a convalescent hospital for the last 30 years of her life. When she died, I paid her cremation expenses.

    I bought Florance a very expensive coat. After she died, I took that coat back. I wear it. I look so much like Florance did. When I wear her coat, I catch a glimpse of myself in a store window —– and it is just like seeing her alive again. I wave to my own reflection with that same goofy retarded look Florance had. It is like seeing her again, but it is me. I am not like her, but I look like her.

    Mom respected that I took care of her sister. She still thought I was a pain in the ass, as a daughter. Because of that, we never got along. But, one night when we were having tea and I gave her legal advice on how to get the house put in her name after Dad died. I paid all the legal expenses for her, and recording fees. She said it was good that I had gone to college and was in law school, along with owning my own business. She asked me how I got to be such a good person, and my answer was simple. ——— That is what she raised me to be.

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