I sometimes think about how much respect we give people before they actually do anything to earn it. I think we owe one another a basic level of decency, but things like age, experience, or roles seem to carry extra weight. Do you generally feel that you’re treated with the level of respect you deserve? Curious how others think about all of that.
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10 responses to “Who do you think automatically demands respect, and why?”
Respect is earned. Be respectful of others and you might be respected in kind; but don’t make the mistake of expecting it. That being said, I respect you mamajoy, even though we may not agree on many things.
@Immortalpirate I appreciate that, and the feeling is mutual. I’m curious, do age, experience, or roles factor into whether someone earns your respect, or does everyone start on the same footing until they show otherwise?
@mamajoy Well, I was raised to respect my elders, but I’m 70 and I only know a few people older than me…
Experience is somewhat situational, as I would respect someone with more experience than me militarily, roles maybe not so much. It has been my experience that supervisors that I have had in my working life had to earn my respect as I had to earn theirs as well. Sadly though, there have been some in my life whom I had no respect for them personally, but I only respected the rank they held.
If I’m respectful people are Usually respectful back. Everybody that isn’t, looses eligibility for genuine respect but might still qualify for respectful politeness. I’m the most disrespectful to my friends.
@LuftBalloonEyeGouge
can someone who lost your genuine respect earned it back or are you a one and done kinda guy?
Aretha Franklin, obviously.
People who faced adversity in life. Don’t entirely care about the result. Like, if you grew up in a shitty home, and that hardened you, then you went to prison, and now you are a gang’s hitman, and you are rewarded with cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, and cellphones. I mean, yea. Dude, you are making it work for you.
Don’t think we should moralize stuff like that, and nobody should let their struggles go to waste.
@eric Aretha is hard to argue with! Do you think surviving hardship on its own earns respect, or is it how someone uses that survival that matters?
@mamajoy If you use it, you get more respect. Not to discount people who survive some bullshit because it will always be an uphill battle for them and the rest of us who had it easier never had to try as hard. But I think there is good cause to argue that they should also strive to be the best of us and to be held to they standard. In part because I think it inspires people and we don’t have enough of that in the world today. It is unfair but I also think the rewards can be greater than what most normies will ever experience.
I respect everyone for who they are. If I treat people with respect, they will treat me decent. I have a cousin who is a trouble-maker and likes to get other people to fight by telling lies about them. She does not deserve my respect because she tries to get other family members to hate me with big lies. The only way my family could sidestep these mental games she plays, is to communicate and bring the lies out in the open. No one likes her. I don’t like her. But we are talking about respect. Once, I saw her autistic 15 year old son was pushing her and hitting her in their front yard. I jumped over the fence to get to them and protect my cousin. I may not like her, but I respect her enough to not let her get abused by her son. I gave her a big hug, once she was safe. I don’t treat anyone badly. ————— I had a next door neighbor that grew to hate me for stupid reasons, but I always treated her with respect. I had ordered 1000 garden worms in the mail. The postal lady delivered them to my next-door neighbor’s house by mistake. When she opened the box she screamed. — “SNAKES!!!” I got my worms from her, however, from then on she called me the woman that sent her snakes. Then, another day, she asked me to babysit her dog and three newborn puppies. She said her daughter is killing the puppies and she needed to go to work and did not want to leave her dog and the puppies alone with her daughter. I kept the dog and puppies overnight. One of the puppies had some sort of fit and died. I put the dead puppy in a pretty box with tissues (respect for the dead.) When I returned her dog and the two live puppies, she began to call me the woman who sent her snakes and killed her dog. I can’t win her respect. When she was moving away, I gave her a big hug and told her I would miss her. —— Even though I will always be the woman who sent her snakes and killed her dog.
This is interesting to me. I do not know if deserve is the best word. For some reason it is hitting me wrong. I think respect is something that can vary from person to person based on our histories, maybe? For example, it is tough for me to respect certain political leaders right now. I think It is hard because in my history I have suffered. As a result I am not too keen on seeing others suffer because It tugs on my empathy. I get what that feels like. If I need to pay a few more dollars in taxes now so that someone else can have healthcare I am good with that. I cannot respect or understand too many opposing opinions or people on that. Conversely some may not respect me or my opinions because they have lived a different life and their experiences are different. They may have come to believe that if anyone just works hard enough they can make it all happen for themselves.
I suppose that respecting a person could be different than respecting an opinion.
I try to always respect other people by not doing them harm emotionally or physically. In my thoughts and feelings I may not have respect for them, though.
Sure, people have disrespected me by injuring me physically or emotionally and I try and stay away from those folks.